i think i noe y person C is not e one

i've been thinking hard n searching deep
to understand myself better in the bus today...
person C is a good guy as i've said...
we were childhood frens when we were younger...
the thing is... he's really got wat most gals want
most of the gals in my church commented that hu ever were to be his wife will be very fortunate
indeed... even i too think so...
he has the quality...
but.. it cant be him for me...
i do enjoy my time with him
it's juz... due to tt incident happened when i was in the age of 12
i fear getting into relationships..
i tot i had gotten rid of the memories but i was wrong...
it did change a large part of my life... it really did....
i cant be like how all normal gals act at home n in front of ppl
i admit... i hav been masking myself in front of every1...
can u believe it? i acted nth happened for the past 6 yrs!!
6 bloody yrs... i've masked myself in front of my family n frens!!! wow...
carmen, im sorry i told u this dark secret so late..
i dun wanna share it with too many ppl.. u noe right?
n i hate to tok abt it
tt incident changed my whole perception of 'ppl'
n person C cant protect me...
he is too bz with his stuff im afraid he wont hav time to protect me from the others
he is too soft with ppl he respect... he cant protect me...
i noe i'll bump into 'dangerous' ppl as time pass
dangerous ppl meaning ppl hu only aim to satisfy their desires with any means of action
i think i need a guy that would respect n protect me..
think i noe now...