siblings' day!!

yay!! it's finally 29th dec'07
i've been keeping this day free just to spend time with my bros in whatever we enjoy doing things together
i know u guys would think we most likely dota
guess what, we only have 2 computers to operate so we forego that idea
we went for brunch in ikea today
it's a simple thing to do together right?
ya.. that was nothing
the fun part comes only after, when we decided to roam around ikea for their products
goodness, we really can crap lots of jokes with all that we see
at the same time, we also thought out loud with how we would like our house to be decorated
this is where we have something in common and that is to think of how we can decorate our house with proper furnitures
anyway, it's really great to catch up with my rest
the weather was so right that i almost skipped my dinner... hehe

funny xmas

this is a gift from gerald
a letter, hearts and a paperbag branded 'blarald production'

wat a wk!

on Wednesday (19th December 2007)
was at carmen's house dressing up for a dinner
too bad i didnt take a pic of myself in a dress she soooo wanted me to wear
muahahah.. oh well, it doesnt really matter
i think the food is nice even though carmen think it isnt =p
n this is my dinner!!


its a buffet
u cant expect me to get a plate for every dish right?
hehe... but i love it
there was 'dance' n a play
there's song dedication as well but.. our table didnt dedicate any song
nvm... e shocking thing is tt all my tpco frens r there!!!
i juz cant believe it!! how... how... scary
now they think im isolating myself from them when i didnt even noe we all r going for the same dinner
wesley was there as well... so can u imagine how i tried to hide from him?
hehe.. ya.. funny
e most irritating part is when tpco ppl tease me abt him
how annoying
he's sweet for offering me his share of things or walking an extra mild for me...
but e other ppl r teasing me abt it...
argh.. n its not like they dunno i've got a bf... kookoo ppl
but still, tt's not e main point of the dinner
it's my 1st xmas gift from carmen!! yay!!!
so muz go mah... and since its a gift from her i muz wear a dress as told lo...
hehe, but we had fun! woohoo
im glad tt carmen enjoyed my company tt night... hee


it was pretty late when i got back to carmen's place
honestly speaking, i dunno where my screw go but im sure it was missing
i was making up lyrics with her, singing in the bus stop
Gerald met up with me there to send me home =p
felt bad actually... cuz it's really late and he still wanna send me home no matter how many times i tried to convince him not to


n here's our feet
black n white...
can guess which is whose right?? haha
he's e devil n im e angel (of cuz) heeheehee



saturday (22nd December 2007)
was bz baking in e morning as gifts to ppl im going to meet these few days
then again, we cant possibly miss e fun of shaping our dough right?
so amos gor carmen n me shaped our kind of gingerbread man in to this



this is a pic of e overall cookies we shaped after all our other cookies r getting a tan in e oven
able to guess the maker of the cookies ?
u shall find out in a while


this is carmen's gingerbread man...
not bad heh? it's got earrings leh
moreover it's got some designs on its pants
juz like elvis Presley... hahaha



n this is amos gor's diseased gingerbread man
haha... he's got a cane with him too...
looked quite... weird
no eyes no shirt nor pants...
haiz....



n this is mine!!! wahahhaha
it's got a spike hair, gloves n boots!!
so cool right??
hahah

meeting bert to dine n some updates

hmmm...
wonder wat would be so important for him to wanna discuss sth with me face to face
oh well.. it's 30mins early so i juz decided to crap some thins in my blog..
wahaha...

anyway... here's a pic of the game 'risk' played by waihong, gerald, carmen n me on last Sunday afternoon
wai = e grey fellow
carmen = white as snow
gerald = yellow tt dirty fellow
me = red hot seduction (muahaha... juz kidding)


here's a pic of how we began our mission to conquer the world



this is near the end where we break off for a surprising natural disaster..
n tt's PIZZA!!



i dunno wat's gone into gerald's mind but i muz comment on his creativity ba...
since he doesnt really hav much to speak of
hehe

yesterday was e day we did our test run on my baking skills
not bad... though a bit chaoda but it taste good!!
hehe... we really had fun shaping e dough
so here's a sneak peek... dun drool

my air-mail!!

how wonderful today is!!
ya noe, after finishing my test, i didnt dare to expect my day would be fun n happy
guess God really does surprise me when i least expect it
i had my afternoon spent in Carmen's house watching HanaKimi
very lame show... but we both really enjoyed it
tuition follows... n my fellow student insisted me to have dinner with her while i tutor her
wow... interestingly, i got no dinner home n didnt noe abt it
God's plan heh? yup indeed
it happens many times in my life n im so thankful tt He's always around to take care of me
so.. wat came after tt was my discovery of a beautiful envelope lying on my piano
guess hu was it from
hoshika!! goodness!!
my pri5-sec1 jap neighbour
i juz received an airmail from her n m super touched when she made tt effort to make me a frenship band
wahuhuh... miss her lots manz...


this is e pic of e envelope



n this is e back of e envelope
hmm.. dun bother abt e address lah



n this is wat's inside it
so sweet of her to mail me photos right?
oh manz..
cant wait to start writing mails to her!!!

think smsing gerald does ease a bit of how i would feel when i tot of him
it's difficult but im trying
glad its improving.. i mean
tt kind of dependency i had, b4 tt day i made e decision, is weakening

yesterday' crazy mode after test + today's insane study for next test

yesterday, e crazy mode for e fun

juz came across this fellow clinging on to e railings tt's on the overhead bridge
was juz wondering how n y e hell would it end up there
oh well... was hoping to get a good pic of it then again, i was afraid of it
so... hehe... didnt move close enough for a better shot at it

alright, straight after e test, carmen n me went to e airport...
ya.. u guessed it right..
i wanna fly away from this shang xin di... wahuhuhuh..
haha... juz kidding


dun really have any purpose being there, so we juz wandered around n found this interesting forest existing inside the airport
they r all real plants!! amazing
then after, i took e time to dota with ai while chilling at coffee bean
only played 1 game and we head to ikea for some window-shopping
showed carmen e plant i wanna get, which i also tot it looked like rose
guess wat... it really was a rose plant... haha... 2pid me




n here's a cushion i seriously wish to possess
those hu r still wondering wat xmas gifts to get me, this cushion would be nice
anyway, carmen looked like she's dressed in 1 big hongbao right?
hahaha... juz joking



since it was raining heavily while we wander in ikea, it's inevitable for us to get caught with a flood
so.. looking at this pic, wat can u conclude??
rubbish bags ain't tt useless after all...
we can use it to maintain our dryness even with floods
haha


it was seriously flooding badly
juz look at e pavement!! it's completely overpowered by rain water

alright, enough of all tt amazement with e weather already
shall head on to e fun at night
we played more dota!! in my house this time
was playing agst carmen = i won... but wasn't a fair game
n then we both team up agst my bro justin = he won
lastly, gerald, bro amos n me teamed up agst my bro justin = we won of coz..

e day ended with juz a small sibling tok with my bros in our common admired place
though i was super duper tired already, i tot it's truely fruitful for siblings to juz sit around n tok abt watever they wanna say
i cant afford to miss this chance can i?
so.. had to persevere a lil with my already exhausted body

overall, i was glad tt this day didnt go a waste
at least i noe i didnt indulge myself with watever tt i desire or wasting time on thinking 2pid things



today, insane study

initially, was suppose to meet up with darrel for some studies in ikea at 3pm
apparently, he's got things n so... cancelled the meeting
was at ikea doing my own studies around 1.30pm
got a lil tired due to e late night slp last night n decided to go home early today
hmm... e thing is...
gerald initially wanted to join in the studies but he was late
or rather, his telepathy isnt strong enough to stop me from leaving ikea or catch me in ikea
so... we missed e chance of seeing each other until i received his sms on my way home
wai was with him n we met up in compass point
was studying in library till we couldnt take e temperature there
ya... it's super cold
n then... home sweet home

boring u say? it wasnt to me, at least
i was trying to keep things plain n simple when i was with gerald n wai in compass
in other words, was keeping e conversations with words tt frens normally use on each other
like cursing n swearing (if there's any), common topic we could all tok abt, lame comments n jokes etc
but i really dun wish to go tru this
its juz not me to have myself pretending in front of frens tt nth was wrong
at least not in front of those whom i consider frens
even more so for good frens, e more i would wanna go all honest with them
i still dunno y we had to go tru this in our relationship
wat is this 'separation' based on?
wat purpose does it hav? i dun understand
im only abiding to this 'separation' becoz he promised my bro...

yet another day

im so glad i've benefited quite a bit from my bro justin's church
honestly speaking, i still dun understand how hgpc youths can be so dead while e youths in other churches could be so vibrant n committed to their church
i wanna do tt too...
i still wanna serve in a church, in a family
but i juz cant seem to find a suitable 1
really wanna serve a church tt doesnt use tongues for their prayers
their tongues r scarying me...


anyway, juz when i tot i could spend e day free from gerald
he smsed... bringing me back to missing him more n more
i guess it's difficult heh? but i'll try harder
it shud be possible


so this afternoon
i met up with aliff shafiq n mannan to study in east coast park burger king
wow.. didnt noe i could sustain tt long in my studies
anyway, it was fruitful
i learned a lot, really
hope i'll do well for tmr's paper
God bless to those hu r having papers this wk
jia you!


this is me.. missing him
aliff took this pic coz he was too bored studying



n this is a pic of aliff hu took e previous pic


n here we r ...
studying

a lil update on our relationship

i miss him badly now...
we both had decided to remain as jie di for now
as.. its really hard to remain as good frens everywhere we go...
we made this decision becoz we noe tt my side of frens n family had been telling us to wait
my frens, dun think ur advices n opinions wasn't important to us
we had been pondering abt it for some time
thus made a decision to...
- not see each other tt often
- less contact with one another
- less care for one another
- not going out with juz e 2 of us
- refrain from any physical contact
we did...



but it hurts me so bad...
it sucks knowing tt u cant really focus right because all u could think of is...

y hav we come to this stage of the relationship?

on Friday was e day we made e decision
being juz good frens was straining us
we r suppose to be good frens but everywhere we go, ppl would juz ask if we were couple
n since they asked... how can we answer truthfully to that question?
r we really boyfriend girlfriend? we cant say that coz we r suppose to remain as good frens
how bout answering them we r juz frens? but we r more than frens..
it's so unclear... didnt want such an unclear relationship
didnt want ppl to ask this question making us go hesitating with e ans
i tried to avoid eye contact tt day because i was trying to compose myself
then i smsed, telling him to see each other lesser
i was very unstable at tt moment coz there're juz lots of things running tru my mind
n when he replied telling me he felt empty n hurt coz of e treatment i gave
i juz cried to myself in the bus, on my way to tuition..
i juz cant help it.. tears juz kept rolling down
soon after, he suggested for us to be in jie di relationship now..
guess it's how it shud be
amazingly, how i felt didnt affect tuition
in fact, i dun think she noticed anything abt my emotions



still, even as i act in front of others
my heart is tearing apart at every tot of him denying me in front of his frens
my heart will ache badly at e sight of him
i tot giving ourselves space n seeing less of each other will not give e wrong impression to others as u noe our actions does things according to wat we feel in our hearts
pls understand as to y i had to do this to e relationship
then again.. i dunno which hurts more
im weak isnt it?
hate it... juz hate how i m right now..
y m i feeling all this when i shud be able to control my feelings after yrs of self control
now i understand wat e show '10 things i hate abt u' is trying to portray
'love sick' u call it?
depressed is e word i wanna use...
juz upset with our relationship
he will no longer be there to warm me when im cold nor protect me when i fear

went to e beach again to think tru things
e wind was strong this morning n i tot its a pity i had to enjoy such breeze all by myself
then it started to drizzle...
i couldnt depend on him to pillion me for shelter nor can i contact carmen coz she's slping...
i bet she is... she didnt reply my sms as promptly
so i head to ikea
almost got myself hit by a car twice while crossing e road today
how dangerous heh? but i couldnt help it..
i didnt even noe i wasnt concentrating on the road
thank God nth happened
but even though i've tot lots in e beach
i guess i juz cant accept things e way they r now
argh...wat a weakling i m when it comes to relationships

my bro's birthday!!

yesterday...
i was studying alone in ikea in the afternoon
well, carmen came by to study with me..
boy was the weather freezing me
was practically frozen in my chair over there
had been complaining abt how cold it was every time i make a trip to refill my cup of soft drink
anyway, after much of brain workout
we decided to do some er... hmm.... some stuff =p
like:


tot it's too lil so i think i added a lil more



crazy enough to drink it?
guess wat? carmen n i were tt crazy


anyway, apart from tt
we went for a lil shop b4 i head home coz i gotta cook for family
noe wat? my mum forgot tt im cooking so she cooked...
sigh... wat a waste of my money n effort
nvm.. instead of wasting e time at home waiting for dinner
i play dota!! with my bro justin
wanna see e stats???
wahaha.... so happy

today's my bro Amos b'day
wow... it's amazing how fast a yr had passed
we juz had pizza n kfc for dinner
quite a large meal ya noe
watched TRANSFORMERS while we feast
its really a fantastic show!!!
haha... really worth watching
love it
n so.. this is how we celebrate an old teenager's b'day
hmm... plain but meaningful
we had lots of laughs in the house

the waiting game

i guess the waiting game was nv fun...
it will always be hinting u with the feeling of anxiety and eagerness to know wat happens next
in this case, waiting for some1 to initiate a conversation, will always disappoint one hu is waiting and already had a certain expectation of how things shud be happening
in some case, waiting for some1 to appear b4 ur presence, will always seem like yrs had passed from the time u've arrived
how torturous is e word 'waiting'
it keeps u in suspense till who knows when
it frustrates u if e wait has become mundane
it kills ur energy as time pass u by
but one shud know the benefit of waiting
n tt is to learn patience n perseverance
r u able to be patient?
r u able to persevere?


much has happened
im really tired of all this things going abt n around me
things r messy now if onli we could all learn to wait n be patient until everything is settled down
this pivot of mine isnt doing its job to balance e load
there will be times where im lil here n more there
it is inevitable as i myself m confused
this is e 1st time im going tru a change to sth new
dun tell me u dun wan me to change?
coz im pretty messed up with wat ppl r telling me
wat would u expect me to do?
im still in a transition stage where everything else is still unconfirmed
pardon me for my absence at times becoz there're things to be done

either way, i hav a story to tell...
but will u be patient to listen?
do u still have e heart to do so?
or hav u already turned away?

i myself m put in the waiting game
now, feeling all tt mixed emotions, i dunno if i can really handle well
will it be a long or short wait, no one knows but God
im keeping my faith n trust up on u...
but will u do e same?
will my fellow frens keep up the faith n trust in me throughout this transition as well?
if im left alone, stranded there, i hav onli myself to blame...
i surrender to tt

gerald's star

as he would wish i post it in my blog
alright, here u go




n... is he very sexy?
dun think so leh... hehe
didnt noe u can be both trustworthy n unpredictable
hmmm.... intelligent n clever heh? tt's a mystery

my star

heh? wat a short description
aiya... nvm.. was onli interested in the design of the paper...
hehe... cant help it, looks nice
n with regards to e content,
im onli agreeable to some =p