i miss him badly now...
we both had decided to remain as jie di for now
as.. its really hard to remain as good frens everywhere we go...
we made this decision becoz we noe tt my side of frens n family had been telling us to wait
my frens, dun think ur advices n opinions wasn't important to us
we had been pondering abt it for some time
thus made a decision to...
- not see each other tt often
- less contact with one another
- less care for one another
- not going out with juz e 2 of us
- refrain from any physical contact
we did...
but it hurts me so bad...
it sucks knowing tt u cant really focus right because all u could think of is...
y hav we come to this stage of the relationship?
on Friday was e day we made e decision
being juz good frens was straining us
we r suppose to be good frens but everywhere we go, ppl would juz ask if we were couple
n since they asked... how can we answer truthfully to that question?
r we really boyfriend girlfriend? we cant say that coz we r suppose to remain as good frens
how bout answering them we r juz frens? but we r more than frens..
it's so unclear... didnt want such an unclear relationship
didnt want ppl to ask this question making us go hesitating with e ans
i tried to avoid eye contact tt day because i was trying to compose myself
then i smsed, telling him to see each other lesser
i was very unstable at tt moment coz there're juz lots of things running tru my mind
n when he replied telling me he felt empty n hurt coz of e treatment i gave
i juz cried to myself in the bus, on my way to tuition..
i juz cant help it.. tears juz kept rolling down
soon after, he suggested for us to be in jie di relationship now..
guess it's how it shud be
amazingly, how i felt didnt affect tuition
in fact, i dun think she noticed anything abt my emotions
still, even as i act in front of others
my heart is tearing apart at every tot of him denying me in front of his frens
my heart will ache badly at e sight of him
i tot giving ourselves space n seeing less of each other will not give e wrong impression to others as u noe our actions does things according to wat we feel in our hearts
pls understand as to y i had to do this to e relationship
then again.. i dunno which hurts more
im weak isnt it?
hate it... juz hate how i m right now..
y m i feeling all this when i shud be able to control my feelings after yrs of self control
now i understand wat e show '10 things i hate abt u' is trying to portray
'love sick' u call it?
depressed is e word i wanna use...
juz upset with our relationship
he will no longer be there to warm me when im cold nor protect me when i fear
we both had decided to remain as jie di for now
as.. its really hard to remain as good frens everywhere we go...
we made this decision becoz we noe tt my side of frens n family had been telling us to wait
my frens, dun think ur advices n opinions wasn't important to us
we had been pondering abt it for some time
thus made a decision to...
- not see each other tt often
- less contact with one another
- less care for one another
- not going out with juz e 2 of us
- refrain from any physical contact
we did...
but it hurts me so bad...
it sucks knowing tt u cant really focus right because all u could think of is...
y hav we come to this stage of the relationship?
on Friday was e day we made e decision
being juz good frens was straining us
we r suppose to be good frens but everywhere we go, ppl would juz ask if we were couple
n since they asked... how can we answer truthfully to that question?
r we really boyfriend girlfriend? we cant say that coz we r suppose to remain as good frens
how bout answering them we r juz frens? but we r more than frens..
it's so unclear... didnt want such an unclear relationship
didnt want ppl to ask this question making us go hesitating with e ans
i tried to avoid eye contact tt day because i was trying to compose myself
then i smsed, telling him to see each other lesser
i was very unstable at tt moment coz there're juz lots of things running tru my mind
n when he replied telling me he felt empty n hurt coz of e treatment i gave
i juz cried to myself in the bus, on my way to tuition..
i juz cant help it.. tears juz kept rolling down
soon after, he suggested for us to be in jie di relationship now..
guess it's how it shud be
amazingly, how i felt didnt affect tuition
in fact, i dun think she noticed anything abt my emotions
still, even as i act in front of others
my heart is tearing apart at every tot of him denying me in front of his frens
my heart will ache badly at e sight of him
i tot giving ourselves space n seeing less of each other will not give e wrong impression to others as u noe our actions does things according to wat we feel in our hearts
pls understand as to y i had to do this to e relationship
then again.. i dunno which hurts more
im weak isnt it?
hate it... juz hate how i m right now..
y m i feeling all this when i shud be able to control my feelings after yrs of self control
now i understand wat e show '10 things i hate abt u' is trying to portray
'love sick' u call it?
depressed is e word i wanna use...
juz upset with our relationship
he will no longer be there to warm me when im cold nor protect me when i fear
went to e beach again to think tru things
e wind was strong this morning n i tot its a pity i had to enjoy such breeze all by myself
then it started to drizzle...
i couldnt depend on him to pillion me for shelter nor can i contact carmen coz she's slping...
i bet she is... she didnt reply my sms as promptly
so i head to ikea
almost got myself hit by a car twice while crossing e road today
how dangerous heh? but i couldnt help it..
i didnt even noe i wasnt concentrating on the road
thank God nth happened
but even though i've tot lots in e beach
i guess i juz cant accept things e way they r now
argh...wat a weakling i m when it comes to relationships
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