so sad...

ahhhhhhhhh... i feel so sad
had been keeping things to myself lately to see it grow to be such a large matter to me now..
i'm feeling more sad than i thought i was.
why???
im not having PMS becuz my period is over.
my dad made me apply for SIM just in case i couldn' get in to NTU
apparently, i received a response from NUS which i didn't even manage to complete that application.
NUS just thank me for choosing them as my 1st choice (which i didnt) in that email
wonder what's going on but oh well, i'm still waiting for NTU to return their results
and because i really don't wanna go SIM, i just felt totally terrible. as in terribly sad...
obeyed my parents into applying SIM which i am pretty sure i'll get in, and knows that i can't place my music as my mainstream... ahhhhhhhh.. (felt like crying after typing here..)
if you've heard all my audio composition, i'm pretty sure you can tell i've got a style of my own
just that it's still raw and needs toning on the method of using instruments
when i thought i could be free from the bondage of this book-intelligent society, i was wrong.
being dragged down by my dad..
just felt so stucked down..
and because of OBEDIENCE
im swallowing this bitter pill to go my parent's way
at first, i thought this unhappiness won't last a day or two
i was wrong when i seek gerald to help me out in cheering up
carmen just didn't say much about it, instead, continued to talk to me about not entering uni and stuff
so all in all, it didn't work. i'm still awfully feeling miserable.
and i can see how deep this bitterness is going by gauging how much i've spent my money on things that are needless to me...
gosh.. really, it's gotta stop