some updates

i know i'm a little late in posting this but i know i have to because its something worth remember yet with my terrible memory, i guess i have to depend on this blogger for assistance.

anyway, FPA set up a recruit booth not long ago and thanks to the terrible design of the school we don't exactly get a crowd. partly also because of the estates ppl and the schedules of students... oh well... shall try other strategic location next time..

SHOWBUSK is an event that was started by me in SIM. this event has been known pretty widely to all the arts club. quite cool eh? i think this coming showbusk will be even better than the previous one. yes ah!!!

and well, SIM wanna thank students for our commitments and effort in making it vibrant, they invited us to SIM Annual Management Seminar on 26th august. soo coooooool!!! i get to meet the author of Tipping Point, Blink, Outlier & What the Dog Saw, Malcolm Gladwell!!! hahaha....

but i guess i wasn't very kind to him after all... kinda made him sign all my books + friend's books. it's once in a life time right? i hope its not too much to ask...

growing in power

mediacorp reporters came down to SIM to give a workshop on the crisis and risk media management last night. although it's a long workshop, i totally find it fruitful. initially it focuses more on the sports and all but i kinda like look at what they are trying to say in a different angle. since they are reporters and have lots of experience in front of the camera, i thought it'll be beneficial if i could get down to the filming side so that my club can have another angle to branch out to. therefore, i approached our higher up, student development manager on his thoughts about investing some money on a handycam. he was positive about the idea and yes, my club is gonna purchase a camera! but that also means more proposals to do and submit to school. haiya... after which, i approached those mediacorp speakers for guidance to this filming route. and i must say, talking to them really inspire one to think further for the club. however, he was telling me that this new filming media that i will be working on will make me more powerful that the others. that also means FPA will be at the top above all other arts cca. huh..... but it's already at the top currently. with the additional "power" FPA will become invincible.... not a very good thing... at least to me, cuz then i have a problem stepping down. right now, i'm so confused.... what good is it to get so much power? i dont see the good side about it.

a rare opportunity

i got approached by the SIM to act in a malaysian production where i'll be given the opportunity to act as a lead actress together with their malaysian idol 1st runner up as the lead actor. i really wonder is it a good idea to take it up.... at the same time i'm suppose to find another actor and actress to be the other sub characters.

the school staff really wants me to take it up as it is a rare opportunity and apparently i fit the description very well. sigh... the only problem is that it's a chinese script. i'm suppose to consider this offer thoroughly... so scary...

lesson learnt

yesterday, i learned that as a President or in any leadership role, it's important to cease whining as the effects and impacts of it can be pretty overwhelming or, perhaps, unexpected and unwanted. afterall, there's nothing good that can really come out from whining so why bother wasting time doing that right? oh well... lesson learnt!

SSO Concert

1st of all, i got a complimentary ticket from school to attend SSO concert where it's labelled as the President's Young Performers. surprisingly, my LEAD camp friends and i were seated 4 rows behind our President S R Nathan without advance notice. in any case, he was the attraction apparently. what was more surprising was when my camp friends weren't sure of requesting a picture taken with the conductor of SSO since he was walking towards our direction. they kinda pushed me to speak up for them and i did. guess what? we really took a few photos with the conductor and he is seriously tall man. he looked so young and pretty good in his suit. it'll be great if my bf could master an instrument. he already melt my heart in his own ways but if he actually mastered an instrument, i think my heart not only melt ah... might even evaporate! hahahaha okok lame lame... it's late at night and im talking nonsense already. oh well... time to go bed

i realized ppl do read my blog! im sorry to have kept you guys waiting for more updates!! i thought no one wanna read already and all the updates could have and would have bore you guys since it's just updates. so sorry...

exciting!

i had an exciting wk once again. was due for LEAD Camp 2011 for all excos of different clubs to attend and get to know each other. tonight, i just performed for the RMIT Grad Show 2011 with a dance item coordinated by DanceArt and assisted by FPA. how cool! i'm definitely meeting a lot more people now and it's people of higher grounds (kinda scary but oh well) and i heard news that they wanna hire us to perform for school. how interesting isn't it?

another thing is that some of the club presidents wanna join forces in working on a production together. i was wondering if i should do this for the CCA. it definitely has more benefit to FPA as it is to me especially when i wanna step down from this post. by tapping on this production would mean i have another year to serve for this club, i'm not very sure if this is healthy for the club. haiya....

while having insomnia, i decided to blog yet have no clue what should i blog about.

ok. i've been invigilating degree level examination for UOL and ACCA and it turn out to be quite fun. then again, it also depends on the partner they assigned to you to work with as you know, just working on the job scope makes work boring and mundane, so i socialized.

i've made many many friends even with those that didn't really wanna open up for some reason and i got a pretty good partner! he's really nice and hardworking (thus i slacked a bit) i also made many many friends during ShowBUSK (busking festival in SIM) in the month of February and Open House in the month of March. gosh.... i think i'm meeting too many people this yr.

can i stop socializing? i would love to do that once in a while but not permanently so that the need to rest after a tiring event is fulfilled.

ok i'm bored...

Valentines' Day is coming...

to celebrate or not to celebrate? hmmmm...

let's just take a look at my commitment this yr:

gerald said i got 7 but i don't really know until i list them down

1]God

2]family

3]church

4]friends/bf

5]school

6]fpa

7]?

hmmm... is it heavy? i even thought of picking up violin and teaching piano. wow.. looks like i need more than 24hrs for a day

Birthday!

it was a fun day and i really appreciate all those people that made time to surprise me on this day when i once thought it's just another normal day. so the celebration started on sunday with the opening of beef steamboat specially prepared by my dad. he knows i like beef pretty much!

after w while of monopoly deal, my castle cake was presented! wahaha.. and then picture taking.

and that was sunday celebration. now for the actual day it was amazing. i wanted to report sick the night before because i wasn't feeling well and was reluctant to go for the interview role playing. surprisingly, i did well for the interview even without any preparations. the lecturer said he would hire me, of course that's if its real interview. one more thing to note. during the interview, while i was in the role of an interviewee, one guys decided to upright flirt with me ! goodness! but i take it as a compliment lah... so after school, i wanted to leave for my appointment with carmen but i was hogged back by my fpa excos. there they surprised me with a cake!

oh gosh.. im so touched by them. i really didn't expect a cake and its my favorite cake too!! i'm beginning to see fpa more than a commitment and believe that's where all dreams come true. i'm loving my FPA now. and then i went to meet carmen!!!!

guess who i saw there too! alexandra! the TP cosplay guy. oh man.. he was with another girl though. heck it. Carmen and me shopped and ate. it was fun! its like the old times just that we dress differently and there were lesser constructions in progress now.

so the day ended with me going for flash mob practice where i got tossed and spin around by strong guys. felt kinda... weird though... haha

My first post of the yr with my beautiful phone!

It's a new year!
Lots of worries lots of responsibilities...
I wonder if my body allows me to handle them all. Oh man... I think I haven't posted on my blog for a long time. I don't know what to write about. Oh man... Oh I know... New yr resolution.

Yr 2011 RESOLUTION
1. Time management
2. Eat when it's meals time
3. When happy, go kite-flying with bros. Otherwise, our usual hideout
4. Go shopping, movies, kinect exercise and marinating with Carmen
5. Make sure all activities are carried out smoothly for FPA
6. Maintain the level of commitment for church
7. Treat Gerald as family
8. Work on projects asap. No more slacking...

I think that's about it. I know it's a shitty resolution but that's all I could think of for now.

Film competition 2010 + my new baby love

this video was done by FPA in participation to the e-Global Challenge 2010 Film Competition organized by kesuma and Muslim Culture and Malay Society of SIM.

it won us 4 awards:

- best actor

- best actress

- best director

- best storyline

sorry for the delay as i just wasn't motivated to upload it. haha

honestly speaking, it's not fantastic to me but i tried my best to edit here and there for the effect. however, i must agree i could used some other effects to make this video much more appealing. whichever it is, it's over and we won! haha... made FPA proud and i'm super proud of it although it's not very fantastic. FPA rox!

believe or not, i got trophy and certificate for best director! cool right?

anyways, after completing grade 8 for piano, i'm moving on to expand my knowledge of music. therefore, a new love is born...

what a beauty isn't she? i wanna name her like my own! ok, she's called "gift"

think cello and violin can complement each other pretty well together with the accompaniment of the piano. it's perfect.

this is like a dream come true. after mastering this instrument, i wanna master harp too. sigh... too ambitious? i think it's ok to dream big. i will not let all this knowledge go a waste. will share them only when i'm prepared to settle down. oooooohhh. it's so pretty...

it has begun!

the good & the bad

here comes my worry

as i said i either be over-committed to something or not at all and that's how i'm structured to be so extreme in my commitments.

in this FPA, i was told that production director was easy and i got the post. after president left for his education abroad, my post was in consideration to be promoted to vice-president. and now... the vice-president that got promoted to be president wants me to be president instead. i feel so scared to make decisions right now. i don't know what will i be handling this time if i were to listen and take up the post. i don't know what to expect. and i have to give my response this thursday morning.

so much to think about before my last exams.. how cruel...

stuck at home

this is just one of the days that everyone else has plans but me. stuck at home not knowing what things to do other than studying for the next paper this monday which i haven't even read a single thing about it. i guess i might just take a nap now to burn midnight oil later. who knows? oh well, kinda feel alright being home alone.. perhaps i'm trying to console myself but nevertheless, it's somewhat a good way to spend time with just myself. feels weird but ok, i can learn.

so what should i do?

should i try to be a little more feminine by posing in front of the mirror and say hi to myself?

or perhaps experiment the make-up set i have?

record music?

currently i'm just playing backyard monster on facebook in order to avoid studying and enjoy the moment of relief after a paper has expired today.

i could have joined my bro to club and help share the load of drinking as his colleagues are eager to see him drunk. i bet i could be there as his tower defense man. (oops.. too much games =p)

or perhaps join my other bro for halloween party somewhere in town and get shocked by all those "stuffs" appearing around.

there's also another choice of joining gerald for church training which is similar to a lecture. the only difference is that you can't eat during the training session and you aren't allowed to slp. ehehe

well, i could also have joined carmen with her lesson since she's got class tonight. the thought of traveling back to school just scares me away when i was so glad that i reached home at 4pm.

as you can tell from the title, i'm home. the decision is simple. i'm tired and mentally exhausted. socializing takes a lot of my energy away and i don't think i can take it. initially i wanted to just go out with a group of frens or even just someone to chit chat and chill. i guess it's not happening tonight. the night is young but i'm turning in now. haha...

fears back

once again, my fear is back.

after acknowledging the fact that i failed my accounting module last semester, i have no courage to face it again this semester. moreover, the rest of the modules i took this semester doesn't seem assuring for me to even make it for the next semester. so what have i been doing?

honestly speaking, if i look back at the days i spent this semester, i really don't know what was i doing for school. CCA? Projects? indeed, all i could remember was rushing to print my notes, group projects and individual projects and not so much of focusing in class. i wonder if i'm the only person experiencing this and i hope not. i must say this semester passed too quickly for me to even remember the much about it.

and back to studies now for there is no time to waste...

after wedding syndrome

here's the picture of pretty girls sitting around the table on Malvin & Jan's wedding night. i'm not suppose to be there because i'm suppose to be at the relatives seat. aiya.. even Malvin was wondering where would i be sitting... haha. oh well, managed to take that picture with them when i took my chances to do some table visitations.

well, i've always disliked dressing up so... it's really hard for me to make myself do it. before all that jazz in the wedding dinner, i was complaining half the time about doing make-ups and wearing dresses for weddings. i know all brides wanna be pretty on their wedding day but i just thought it's not the appearance the groom is marrying but the person itself. what i'm wondering is is it necessary for brides to dress-up on their wedding day?

i thought to myself about how i shall have my wedding planned as of 21yrs old mind:

1. montage shall be done by me!

2. bf shall pick selective songs to be played for wedding dinner (cuz i noticed their wedding restaurant played "you had a bad day")

3. dresses? hmm.. i wan short skirts for wedding album because i simply find the gown too long and uncomfortable. on the wedding night, i don't want make-up! light make-up is fine. hehe and i think i wanna wear shoes.. no wait. boots more like it. cool right? actually to be honest, i though of wearing pants as my option but my gor said he would kill me if i do that. haha

4. must choose humorous mc for the day

5. shall come out with the program flow for dinner cuz quite boring to just eat

6. must get 'on'/ enthu people to shout "yam seng" and conduct them like orchestra!

7. oh oh i want string quartet also!! piano also can lah but i find it boring

ok i can't think of any things else already. so i shall just stop here =p

life is just too short...

some times, i gaze into the sky wondering what am i doing in this world and left that thought hanging. and then there are times where i wonder what if i were to die today, what would happen to everybody? and if i were to write my last words on a paper, telling everyone to have a party for my funeral, what would their expressions be? haha... think it'll be quite a memorable reaction in return.

so what if that really happens? what if you are about to die, what is certificates to you? what is money to you? what is achievements to you? aren't those suppose to add-value to your life?

majority spend their first quarter of life studying and achieving grades that would help boost their pride and fulfill their parent's wishes yet living a life not knowing where they are heading to. but is this what they want in life? is this what i want for life? and if your D-day comes would you find your life meaningful?

i know if i die now, i won't be satisfied with it. there's just so many things to do and so little time. and people would say "it's all about time management" which i don't deny. but i would wanna spend all my time knowing everything and acing nothing at all, the benefit is to meet people and search for that one i've been searching for the longest time. where are you? where could you be? i'm growing tired of waiting but it's this hope i'm holding on that kept me going...

so what is studies? now it has dawn to me that it's just an activity to know more people. in fact, to put it crudely, education is a waste of time for someone who wants to master something else than gaining academic intelligence. that's because i'm not clever nor am i smart and i'm no where near them. i like beautiful things and i like to create them from limited resources. i like to listen and i like to match music with sounds. most challenging is to match the pitch each environmental sound is produced. i like to dream in my sleep because they always amaze me. i like to look at the wonders of nature, the miracle of each living beings are form or each elements could create. i'm that sort that enjoys adventure and i would seek it before it seeks me. however, these adventures i'm referring to don't mean challenging the dangers of our human body, it's more like experiencing lives in a different way.

i don't wanna get stuck with work when i grow up. perhaps i shall work as a project servant and appreciate life to its potential instead of facing 4 walls and few windows in a not very conducive office. we shouldn't be captivated with workloads in a container rather to venture the world out there. and to know the beauty of this massive creation that lived way before human's record of history, i think our lives are just too short to see all that wonders

whoooopps... my shoe...

seeking other solutions

i must admit that i haven't been putting much thought and time to post updates on my blog. it makes me feel jealous to read other's blog because i know that i don't exactly have that much luxury to write what i feel anymore. perhaps i should try to commit a post per week? could be a good start?

do you know that i'm currently taking the role of PRODUCTION DIRECTOR? it's now imprinted into my CCA transcript and when i saw it, i almost got a heart-attack. why? that's because it's a big word and it weighs too much responsibilities that i doubt i am fit to be in that position. i feel like killing myself due to all those responsibilities that i'm carrying. in fact, i think i killed myself many times already, it's a wonder why i'm still alive. whichever it is, my academics and CCA is making me stressed so much that i wanna run away from everything that i am right now. despite all that feeling, i ironically feels glad to take up this post as it is somewhat a chance for me to know myself, my leadership skills, first hand. that's also because of the kind of leadership history i had in the past that i kinda quit halfway through, it's not a very proud thing to do but i admit i lacked that confidence to pull through it.

this brings me to say... i need a break from this world. again. i need to refresh myself before i get burnt out. sadly, my dad is still against the idea for me to go overseas even though i'm an adult already. i don't want to upset my dad, so i won't push it. what's worse is that i realized the kind of person i am since the past and it never really change much even now. my brothers and i had a chat last night about the freedom we have to make decisions. i then come to realise that i'm that sort who have the "imaginary" boundary i would never cross. and since i knew i would never cross, i don't even put much effort into devising a plan to break it. it has been seen since young... gosh... now i understand why i would refrain myself from upsetting my dad because there is this boundary of "once you cross there's no way of gaining back the trust from your parents" constantly but unconsciously prompting me.

i guess i just have to look for some other solutions then.

sianz..

happy and sad..

happy for the violin students getting distinction for grade 3, distinction for grade 2, merit and pass for grade 1. i guess they really did a good job when i was in the exam room with them.

sad for having myself labelled in their exam script. it's never a good comment or impression when the examiner decides to write something that relates to the pianist. the examiner wrote something like "the ensemble had difficulty in arising" which meant the pianist had difficulty accompanying the violinist as commented by their violin teacher. damn sad...