life is just too short...

some times, i gaze into the sky wondering what am i doing in this world and left that thought hanging. and then there are times where i wonder what if i were to die today, what would happen to everybody? and if i were to write my last words on a paper, telling everyone to have a party for my funeral, what would their expressions be? haha... think it'll be quite a memorable reaction in return.

so what if that really happens? what if you are about to die, what is certificates to you? what is money to you? what is achievements to you? aren't those suppose to add-value to your life?

majority spend their first quarter of life studying and achieving grades that would help boost their pride and fulfill their parent's wishes yet living a life not knowing where they are heading to. but is this what they want in life? is this what i want for life? and if your D-day comes would you find your life meaningful?

i know if i die now, i won't be satisfied with it. there's just so many things to do and so little time. and people would say "it's all about time management" which i don't deny. but i would wanna spend all my time knowing everything and acing nothing at all, the benefit is to meet people and search for that one i've been searching for the longest time. where are you? where could you be? i'm growing tired of waiting but it's this hope i'm holding on that kept me going...

so what is studies? now it has dawn to me that it's just an activity to know more people. in fact, to put it crudely, education is a waste of time for someone who wants to master something else than gaining academic intelligence. that's because i'm not clever nor am i smart and i'm no where near them. i like beautiful things and i like to create them from limited resources. i like to listen and i like to match music with sounds. most challenging is to match the pitch each environmental sound is produced. i like to dream in my sleep because they always amaze me. i like to look at the wonders of nature, the miracle of each living beings are form or each elements could create. i'm that sort that enjoys adventure and i would seek it before it seeks me. however, these adventures i'm referring to don't mean challenging the dangers of our human body, it's more like experiencing lives in a different way.

i don't wanna get stuck with work when i grow up. perhaps i shall work as a project servant and appreciate life to its potential instead of facing 4 walls and few windows in a not very conducive office. we shouldn't be captivated with workloads in a container rather to venture the world out there. and to know the beauty of this massive creation that lived way before human's record of history, i think our lives are just too short to see all that wonders