this post is dedicated to Carmen

i must say, throughout all this while when i face the tough times and the best times of my life, as to date, i really appreciate how my beloved girl friend had made her footprints visible and distinct in all this episodes of my life story. i think about it, i see that i'm really fortunate to have such a friend to back me up when i'm totally pathetic, to see the positive out of the negative point of view, to teach me to relax and enjoy life as troubles and worries pace up at my doorsteps and to give me some of her warm advice.

i really want to make this known because i'm simply proud of the friendship we shared, your footprints in my life had made a great contribution to where i am now. indeed, when i'm stressed up, i do unusual stuffs and you were there to try calm me down and make things work out in a positive manner. i guess this is the toughest job ever because not even gerald can do that. he simply just go with the flow instead of solving the problem itself.

what's more? you let me know that i am also important in your life, in a subtle way, be it the different lifestyle that we are living in now, you still care for me. also, you would always want to meet me up despite the fact that i'm boring and always busy. when you have problems, you gave me a space to voice my opinions and you take them into your own considerations, allowing me to fulfill 1 simple basic objective of friendship from a common phrase "what're friends for?"

it's just irritating that those letters i wrote you are stuck in a bottle. i guess i gotta wait for you to return before i could pass them to you. sad...

jusy wanna say a big Thank You! you really are a great friend

oh no!!! hermits facing death!

gerald's hermit crab passed away last night! can you believe? now i really wonder if i have the skill or the required basic cabitat for my 3 little buddies to stay alive and wander around. indeed, marine animals are hard to please. but one thing remains a mystery, why did gerald's hermit crab died given the cabitat? is it the lack of sun since the shore is always facing the sun's glare? or food? or temperature?

gotta stay strong constance!!!

'Let others lead small lives, argue over small things, cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you'

- Jim Rohn

i have always believed that you, as a host of your life, should be responsible of all the things you do and be courageous to face the consequences that will subsequently follow with all the decisions made. the words that you say, the things and actions you do, the lapse of time when things are suppose to happen, it's all connected and contributed to how people gather their impression of you. so be sure of who you are, what you can do and not do, how you want others to know you and what they should gather impressions of you because every little step has a slack risk of making misinterpretations.

this is just who you are, the more you push your limit, the more it'll hurt. but just bear with it for the sake of everyone, it'll be over before you knew it. there is a greater purpose in where you are although it may look as if it's not where you belong.

ps. not directing to anyone in case you don't realize. it's just how constance would face the problem with a clear mind and she needs reminders when she's not composed.

3 hermit crab from gerald

when i thought my hermit crab lives like how Nat's hermit crab lived, i was wrong. i checked out the internet and they stated that land hermit crabs do eat egg shells for meals, it didn't work on mine. so what are they?? one thing i observed is that they like submerging themselves in water, so i check the internet out for more information on tidal or marine hermit crabs. more confusion arise as there isn't much information about it, so based on pictures, i assumed my hermit crab is part of the species in marine areas and of course, gave them water to submerge themselves. yup, they are happy now. i think they got too comfortable with the area in fact.

i have officially name this fellow 'Greedie' because he's been stealing food from all the other hermit crabs. how do i tame this fellow? in fact, he's also always bully the other fellows that were bunking with him in the same tank. gosh... i'm really worried that it'll pinch one of their limbs off during a fight man.

this is "chirpy". kinda named him that because he's the first to chirp among the 3 musketeers. well, he's always bullied by greedie since he's smaller in size compared to greedie. nothing much about him so far other than the fact that he likes to pester greedie for no reason. perhaps he's just being territorial?

finally, "scaredee" is the only girl i have discovered so far who was pregnant for the past week until yesterday, she gave birth to lots of larvae babies. so what's with the name? as you can see the picture above, she's always hiding her head in her shell with a pair of eyes sticking out. don't really know why she's so timid though. few days ago, she was bubbling. i was so worried that she would die since it's the sign of all dead crabs before their death. i checked out the internet and got to know that these crabs bubble mainly because they needed more moisture on their body under the wrong humidity and temperature. to get that, they bubble. otherwise, it's just stress. cool fact heh?

here's the larvae that scaredee gave birth to. initially i thought it looked like mosquito larvae trying to survive in her cabitat but i just psycho-ed myself that it's not. until now, i'm still quite uncertain if it's mosquito larvae or hermit crab larvae. oh well, gotta wait till it grows to a pupa. take a closer look with my small magnifying glass down below.

feeling lousy: i don't wanna grow up

was feeling rather upset today despite the fact that my group had finally finished the marketing project that lasted for a substantial torturous number of months. was once again feeling the loneliness when the group starts chattering, i realized i have nothing much to chat with them. part of the main reason is that they speak chinese and use a different wavelength as me. or perhaps their interests doesn't interest me at all that causes the barrier to speak a word during their social conversation. i tried and i tried real hard but i guess they don't see it. i always felt that barrier when i'm with them but not so much in fpa. why is that so?? i really feel lousy to have no real friends that i can call 'friends' in school. all of them are just acquaintances who are constantly trying HDs by all means. i wanted to hate my life but i know that won't do me good, in the first place, i'm the one that makes decisions in my life and by hating my life makes life seems meaningless.

i also figure out that i like being childish because i wanna capture what have been lost in my youthful days even though i'm aging day by day. however, this characteristic puts me in a disposition among my peers as they would not enjoy doing what i like best. see what i mean? how can i find friends that i would enjoy their company with and with the same frequency? and the closest to that would be gerald's group of friends without a doubt. but everytime i join his gang, i'll feel some sort of difference that took me a while to realize it. his gang share times together in camps, courses and workshops as well as planning and commitments that i cannot participate. you know how sucky that feels? it's the same as your group of friends having fun out there without you just because you are not allowed to come along. you know what? i rather not know the fun they will be experiencing cause it hurts. it will hurt badly...

what's more, my girlfriend had been going overseas for all the fun and sight seeing while im here in singapore facing all the odds myself. i really hate it..

what i'm left to do now is to bond with my new post in fpa and church camp commitment, and of cause this dreadful studies of mine.

how to study???

just thought this pictures is funny and creepy. oh well, trying to get myself to study but dun think the time i spent was productive today. gosh... i wanna do well for exams but how to do that at this rate???

i.. M... IN!!!!! WoooHoooo~

you must be wondering what other time-consuming commitment have i got myself into right?

about a month ago, i had this interview for an executive committee post in Film & Performing Arts and was hoping to be the president of that cca but because my producer scared us with all the responsibilities a president hold in SIM, i kinda changed my decision and went for the producer post as my first and president the second choice.

and the results!!! it is finally out... haha

just had a meeting this tuesday to know our post in this cca and then they revealed the 0h-so-very-long-awaited result. and yes, i got PRODUCER post!! haha.. it's somewhat like production manager where it focuses more a major project that the output of it has to be grand and impactful. i don't where do i begin man... i'm just waiting for my producer to give me some starters...

also, another thing that made me real glad was the revision of economics where i was really upset that all my friends got the same kind of answer for the mcq test 2 except myself. i was so worried that i would fail this time round because i didn't have enough to catch up with what i've missed out and actually cried after taking the test. what's interesting is the revision today, lecturer went through the test questions and my friends realized that they had made a number of mistakes in the test, this also means that i have a higher chance of getting my answers right!! haha...

then came the night.

i thought it was a screwed up day today where i planned to go carmen's house but yet my uni friend needed accompaniment in sengkang since he's got some time to spare and isn't very sure about this place. so i did project work in school for quite some time when i thought it would only take a while. and then brought my friend to sengkang. my gor called to meet me at compass to do something that i wasn't informed of, it was a command that means i can't see carmen. carmen said i could have gotten a free entry to watch "titans" with the benefit from her dad and that she met liwei marcus and wai hong who are also watching the same show which i presume the same time slot. gosh, i felt so terrible hearing that man. this is the time where i was irritated with myself because i don't get to do what i wanna do if i wanna be some one good. it's like i started harboring this thought that it's my life and i should learn to live the way i want it, after all it's the only life i'm living.

after what happened tonight i can assure you that living a life that you desire is never a satisfaction and it'll only turn out to be a life wasted because it's heading to no particular direction without any purpose and reason.

although i have realised the opportunity lost to bond with my friends, something touching occurred. i met my bros after my friend left me for his other appointment. i was only in thought of dinner because i haven't eaten yet but gor brought me to metro and made me choose 2 very expensive bras for myself as a gift from him. he did this on the day when he received his pay from his work as he knows that i have very little of it and most are old, not my size any more, didn't want me to have a potential in getting breast cancer. you know, my mum don't do shopping with me with regards to this, that's why its touching that my gor cast aside his ego to shop with me and even bought me expensive goods on his pay day!

you see, you may be thinking its fortunate to have siblings in the family but not every siblings in a family behaves like this. and think about it, if i really went my way to do what i wanted, i would miss this precious time to bond with my bros and receive their love for me. in a larger scale, if i insisted in going along with my desires, i would have forgone all that surprises and blessings that every one else had prepared for me, wasting their effort as well.

some times, it's really not about what you want, it's what others want to bless you with that would make you appreciate life a little more. so receive and accept joyfully people reading this...

as for me, i don't wanna live a selfish life, i wanna dedicate this life into serving God and loving his people.

news!!

i got my new flip flops yesterday at parkway!! haha.. so happy. so now, my feet won't stink because of my flip flops. yay

gosh, the executive committee post result will be out tomorrow and i'm like.. so anxious about it. wow.. haven't felt this for a long time but oh well, shall not hope for the best. i guess the basis of it is to avoid feeling disappointed i think.

just last 2 nights ago, went for the musical post production celebration where we review the musical once again and then karaoke session. after which a stupid movie called Frat Party and then some card games before going for bed. however, i didn't really get much sleep due to alcohol but oh well... had to wake up early the next day in order to be punctual for sunday service. gosh...

anyway, just days before this faithful day, had a gathering session with the old production committees and members. having supper and chat all the way till late, with that comes consequences where i almost got scolded by my parents. thankfully, it didn't happen.

happy thoughts

Colossians 1:10-12

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, (11) being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully (12) giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[b] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

just find it very comforting to know that those that follows God will be molded into christ-likeness and be ever happy and joyful. and the best blessing is the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom where our ancestors share the same as we are included in the family of God. =p this passage really make me happy

a beautiful yesterday makes totally boring today

i sense that wai is getting real bored at home and needs to do some reading on people's life, so here it goes...

alright

"yesterday~ my life seems so far away... lalalalala oh i believe in yesterday..."

so yesterday, it was FREE CONE'S DAY!!! as usual, it's carmen and my routine to queue up for the ben & jerry's ice cream on this faithful event. but before that, gerald came to my house because he had nothing else to do and decided to "fetch me" to vivo where our never ending queue awaits us. it's ok that carmen had to go out with her mum so she's a little late for the whole queuing process. most importantly, she got 1 free cone!! well, i had 3 1/2 cones and gerald had 1 1/2 cones. wahahahaha!! i'm the ultimate winner!!!!

anyway, after that we went to watch 3d version and it's really good!! i like that show! think the night fury (aka toothless) is so cute!! i wanna watch again! haha

and what's up with today? it's just class in the morning then project discussion n it all finally ended in the afternoon. so here i am, typing my words in this post before i go to bed for a nap. gosh, life's just so dull... ok ok, maybe it's wrong for me to say my life is dull because i've got a lot of commitments already. =p think i wanna go out and have fun. real fun and games... any suggestions?

lopsided

what a rare sight in singapore isn't it? this vehicle is heavily lopsided to the left and it just kept going and going on the road. sometimes, i wonder if we are at any one point like this truck too? being greedy in putting so much weight on our shoulders until the day we couldn't handle it anymore and subsequently break down?

yup, i must say i am like that. but i'm sure i'm not the only one, many singaporeans do that too because they just don't want to sacrifice another trip to and fro. i know my friends, i'm getting too much load on myself, but i'm lightening it already. theory exam is over just yesterday, i think i will have more chances in getting higher salary now. =p

birthday babies gathering cum lou hei

1st table...

2nd table...

if you see double of the same person, i think you might have seen their ghost loitering around the other tables... haha

well, overall, i enjoyed the dinner together guys! think it's meaningful

most of all, thanks for helping out in making gerald's video work. =p

he appreciate it a lot a lot!! and i shall post his reaction in contrary to the video you guys did.

everything today is thoroughly...

gosh.. i can't believe this but i'm actually missing the musical. all that catchy tunes and dancing acting... i don't know when will this opportunity come again. indeed i was whining a few weeks back about how this whole production is consuming my time, but i must say, there is no regret as to how the whole musical turn out. sadly... i couldn't get to meet those friends who came for this musical. still, i must thank gerald, carmen, marcus, liwei, waihong and my family for coming down to this show. i hope you guys didn't find it a waste of time.

here's kisses to all of you!! haha...

many inspiration quotes everyday!!

i've been receiving inspirational quotes everyday for free as it's one of M1's services to brighten people's day. i thought it might be useful for people who actually reads my blog, i really appreciate it. therefore, some little quotes for all of you.. don't mind if i were to quote some from the bible too k? hee

only as high as i reach can i grow, only as far as i seek i can go, only as deep as i look i see, only as much as i dream can i be

- Karen Ravn

if your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader

- John Quincy Adams

dreams have only one owner at a time. that's why dreamers are lonely.

- Erma Bombeck

success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

- Winston Churchill

really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great

- Mark Twain

shoot for the moon in all you do, even if you miss you'll land among the stars

- Brian Littrell

live as you were to die tomorrow. learn as if you were to live forever.

- Ghandi

true silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body. nourishment and refreshment.

- William Penn

when i dare to be powerful. to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether i am afraid

- Audre Lorde

if we are growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone

- John Maxwell

patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish

- John Quincy Adams

great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together

- Vincent Van Gogh

obstacles are those frightening things that become visible when we take our eyes off our goals

- Henry Ford

all difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small

- Lao-Tzu

speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret

- Dr. Laurence J. Peter

you can do it if you believe you can

- Napoleon Hill

beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears

- Edgar Allen Poe

if you don't like something, change it. if you can't change it, change your attitude. don't complain

- Maya Angelou

boredom means that you do not appreciate what life has to offer

- Bryon Pulsifer

do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.

- Mother Teresa of Calcutta

you can adopt the attitude there is nothing you can do, or you can see the challenge as your call to action

- Catherine Pulsifer

age is not a matter of the physical condition of the body; it is more a matter of the condition of the mind

- Byron Pulsifer

focus is the ultimate power that can change the way we think, the way we feel, what we do in any moment. we change our lives

- T. Robbins

a man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

if we do the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves

- Thomas Edison

respect for self is the beginning of cultivating virtue in men and women

- Gordon B. Hinckley

when we complain, we remain. when we whine, we stay behind. when we praise, we raise.

- Jim Bakker

you can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

- Zig Ziglar

the more you give of yourself, the more you will receive for yourself, your family and future

- Al Argo

progress s impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything

- George Bernard Shaw

people who don't take risks generally make about two mistakes a year. people who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.

- Peter Drucker

an invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men

- Thomas Fuller

be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence

- George Washington

this is a world of action, and not moping and droning in

- Charles Dickens

he that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven

- Thomas Fuller

perhaps the very best question that you can memorize and repeat, over and over is, "what is the most valuable use of my time right now?"

- Brian Tracy

the secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do

- Anonymous

an idle brain is the devil's workshop

- English Proverb

as strong as my legs are, it is my mind that has made me a champion

- Michael Johnson

just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings

- Elie Weisel

again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made

- Rober H. Schuller

how a man plays a game shows something of his character, how he loses show all of it

- Anonymous

to live for results would be to sentence yourself to continuous frustration. my oly sure reward is in my action and not from them

- Hugh Prather

if you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase

- Epictetus

great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

- Albert Einstein

the greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one

- Elbert Hubbard

our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

to accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan,, but also believe

- Anatole France

we are far more liable to catch the vices than the virtues of our associates

- Denis Diderot

a good deed is never lost: he who sows courtesy reaps friendship; and he who plants kindness gathers love

- Basil

goals are fuel in the furnace of achievement

- Brian Tracy

the ability to concentrate and use your time well is everything if you want to succeed in business -- or almost anywhere else for that matter

- Lee Lacocca

one way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure. it requires us to take some risks and we can be well rewarded too

- William Feather

you are the handicap you must face. you are the one who must choose your place. the greatest handicap we all have is not realising our own potential

- James A.

the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams and they are committed to attaining them

- Eleanor Roosevelt

reheasals rehearsals rehearsals ~

how interesting can this leopard of mine be? i think it's really awesome. i didn't know it can do such quirky pictures until a friend of mine from fpa showed me how its done. well, as you know, i am only using this leopard for projects now. most probably will be spending the holidays trying to know it inside out. for now, it's studies first.

i really think my friends are awesome to have planned and organized a party for me, or rather, chalet!! i really like chalet guys... i think it's some sort of a way for me to get out of all my worries and just enjoy the company. really, i need it. carmen can tell it all... i don't enjoy my life right now. especially when i made a grave mistake to continue the musical show when i could have just taken the audience seat instead. gosh, why am i so dumb?

what's getting back into me right now is the thought of starting to work again. my gor's company asked if i were to be coming back for work any time. i want to and would love to, so that i can save up for the taiwan vacation!! really, i will cry my tears dry for not leaving this country during the holidays. you know, all that stress managed to make me say "i don't wanna live any more" quite a number of times... and no, i'm not thinking of committing suicide but it's the intention of running away. i wanna run.. somewhere, anywhere... and to run, i need some cash to run away for a while..

confession of a workaholic

time spent on watching television or playing games all by yourself is really not making life meaningful, especially for myself. i always thought that you only have one life to live, live it the way you want. and i just want so many things in my life that caused me to keep on doing something, neglecting my beauty rest. like proving everyone wrong that anyone can dance stylishly only if they had proper training, chilling out with friends when bonding, playing some sports together or even fishing is meaningful to do. the main thing is that, i don't want to waste my life away not doing anything useful, productive or meaningful. even more so when we say ' you only have one life to live in' because if you don't do what you want to do now, you'll regret it when you get older or the time when you start working…

perhaps my kind of purposeful life voice down to the very nature that i'm greedy. not greedy for money, not greedy for fame but greedy to do what others have the opportunity to do. and i'm still young so i don't wanna care about my limitations and do what i most desire to do. perhaps my phrase in life would be 'make full use of the time you have before your life expires' resulting me being busy majority of the time.

so why am i talking about this?

because... recently, i got involved with a musical in SIM that's going to be held on 6th feb'10. and just yesterday, i signed up for another CCA, hip hop dance club, that made me realize i will have to spent quite a lot of my time in school. that also means, too many commitments that possibly exhaust me physically and mentally. ya, think i'm crazy? i think i am too... i just want so many things... sigh.. not things but "things"...

oh yes, one other thing. wai, on behalf of PC people, bought me a pair of converse shoes!!! yes!!! n i get it, you guys had to stress it that it's CON-verse

cake!

look!! i wanna have this cake as my b'day cake. can can can?

if you guys need to know the ingredients i can tell you.

its...

- jelly (the 55 cents one)

- strawberry

- cheese

- digestive biscuit for the crust

i tried it and it's tasty. was wondering if i can make it and ready to eat on my bday...

i suppose i know how to make it. just hope that i have the proper tools. =p

this sucks

oh CRAP!! my B'day is coming...

this is not good...

Merry Xmas

oh yes it's x'mas once again and yet i could still remember how i celebrated my previous x'mas in church last year. it's kinda different this year as i fell a little unwell due to the drastic change in weather. therefore, staying at home was the best option for my x'mas activity. sadly, nothing much to do at home, i was bored and so i pushed myself into shopping around nearby shops to get stuffs i need for the presents i'm making. this make me wonder how did all my friends celebrate their x'mas every year? i had been busy with church stuffs every year but not this year. kinda feel like it's just another holiday instead of how it used to imprint into my head that its a big big occasion. feels empty...

awesome notebook!

wahahahaha... i have finally gotten a laptop and its slick in my context. although there were quite a number of feedbacks in the forum that is negative enough to make me doubt the durability of this Alec, i'm still bought over by its the capabilities.

it's been long since the last entry and yet i'm still clueless about what to post on my blog. i guess it'll take a while more for me to post another entry again.

TP. i miss tp days. come to think of it, although i'm not very involved with tp, i still miss the times where i can meet carmen just any time at her house. and of course not forgetting pc crews filling me with dota games when i'm too stressed up with my work. moreover, it feels good to be back in tp because you don't have the purpose to study there but to enjoy the company of friends you made. yet again, my holidays are filled with work. how exciting is that? i guess this is part of growing up in the society where you will start neglecting friends you once been closed to. annoying.