current committments

it used to be this amount of workload i was holding onto the past month, i suppose.

1. school work

3 individual assessments (all due in a month's time or less)

2 group assessments

2. production manager role

= 2yrs plan

= script training

film training

production

editing training

finally screening

+ FPA finance matters

+ sourcing out trainers for FPA workshops

3. committee member for church gospel camp in dec

4. church youth room decor i/c

5. currently enrolled in First Aid Course and there's exam next sunday!!!

6. will be involved in Chingay for SIM

7. Ambassador for FPA

= need to source out make-up artist

look for dress

have to maintain GPA!!! (i wanna cry already)

Now...

it's gonna be:

1. church committee gospel camp

2. church room i/c

3. accompanist for 4 violinists taking their grade 1, 2, 3 exam this week

4. piano teacher for 2 students (not confirmed yet)

5. monitoring the progress of scripwriting course

6. HMT & ER projects due soon, HRM due the week after.

i like this picture...

and this picture the most!

kinda like the effect that the mask gives though.. well, like what the photographer said, mysterious.... too bad i don't know how to smirk properly if not the photoshoot would have been much at ease..

photo Shoot!

today's the first item of my stress list to be off the chart. awesome! just that i dislike putting on make-up because i have trouble taking them off and dislike dresses because they limit my movement. oh! don't forget the heels, they kill my feet and i'll never forget that.

anyways, if i ever get a hold of my photos from the photo shoot, will try and make the effort to post it here. if it's nice i'll post it on facebook loh.. and i don't think i'll be proud of it as my face will be covered with a layer of powder which doesn't really show myself as myself. ya... eeeeeee and the dress!! aiya.. it's lacy.. why would i be happy wearing it? it's so... girl... eeee

commitments!! ahhhhhhh

tell me why shouldn't i be stressed when i have the following commitments entrusted to me:

1. school work

3 individual assessments (all due in a month's time or less)

2 group assessments

2. production manager role

= 2yrs plan

= script training

film training

production

editing training

finally screening

+ FPA finance matters

+ sourcing out trainers for FPA workshops

3. committee member for church gospel camp in dec

4. church youth room decor i/c

5. currently enrolled in First Aid Course and there's exam next sunday!!!

6. will be involved in Chingay for SIM

7. Ambassador for FPA

= need to source out make-up artist

look for dress

have to maintain GPA!!! (i wanna cry already)

saying a little prayer

oh Lord,

teach me to accept people with differences

teach me to accept their weaknesses and strengths

teach me to accept who they are and what they have become

teach me to accept that very part of them which seems unbearable

teach me to accept them with love

teach me to accept them like how you accept us in thy Kingdom

teach me your ways so that i may learn and follow

for Your ways shall be my ways

Your words be my words

and as the Heavens are higher than the earth

so are Your ways higher than my ways

and Your thoughts than my thoughts

school is starting soon.. again..

i dread school.

i dread it so much that i wished i never lived this moment.

never had to meet new faces in a blast

never had to face this fear of failure

never had to waste this time on something redundant

really hope someone could help me through this stage.

i just wanna run away...

i had a happening week

just a brief updates of the events that happened but wasn't mentioned until now. oops

back when i was in the midst of preparing for my exams in uni, i had this guys to chill with at ikea. it was one of those random days where there was this sudden urge to go ikea and we just headed there unplanned. didn't went for the furnitures but the food. haha... i think ikea might get disappointed with their furniture losing out to the food they offered in terms of attraction.

and there, there...i dyed my hair copper. too bad it's not that reflective under fluorescent lights but oh well, i like that color!! i like straight hair too!! i wan short hair! but i got curly and almost long hair now... how sad that i can't get it cut since people are so against the idea.

after some time, there came graduation day for gerald. family photo!

and then on 26th may 2010, wednesday, i had some time with Carmen at iluma for... i don't know... shopping? she wanna go out for a walk, i wanna stay home while gerald needs to lavender for his passport. i thought it'll be great for both carmen and gerald to go lavender so gerald gets his things done and carmen get to do some walk walk and i get to stay home!! haha... it didn't happen. all 3 of us went out for walk walk. and after a short notice of wai and gabriel going sengkang swimming complex for a swim, we all head there to join them. how cool right? just heading out without and plans... kinda like to do all that on the spot things. kinda fun

27th may 2010

i went church for some logistics help out and then to teo heng for karaoke with carmen, gabriel, waihong, gerald and carolyn! after that, gerald, germaine and me went to east coast to celebrate their grandma's birthday till late man.. as in late late. only got home about 4am and then had to wake up early for kite-flying tmr

kite-flying was kinda tough when you have 2 strings to handle and manage. my kite was given by my brothers as birthday present last year. i didn't really had a successful flight last year... at least there was some improvement this time. haha

old flame for PC

just when i thought there's nothing much that i could contribute to Production Crew in order to benefit them in any ways possible, i found myself a new task to help bond the freshies more in their assigned groups. once again, i felt my time spent in PC workshop meaningful because everyone get to know each other better throughout the workshop and retarded games we play. haha...

last week, i helped leo's group with bonding and that was unplanned for. initially, i was planning to just look-see the different workshops and perhaps wander about the different stations. little did i expect myself to be drawn by Daven into ice-breaking with Leo's group. how interesting isn't it? it turned out that, most of them, by the end of the whole session, managed to remember each others names and even exchanged numbers which i thought it's super duper important!

today, i helped out with Liwei's group in XiuXian's station because XiuXian said he has problems playing ice-breaker games with them. i tried but they aren't as active as what i expected of them, worst, the activity's wire was too long for them to coil, so it turned out to be a long game. thankfully, with XiuXian's bright idea to play 2 games con-currently, the flow was faster. glad to hear, XiuXian was really satisfied with today's workshop because of their positive attitude and their hunger to learn, it all made it worthwhile coming down to help.

next week, i will be visiting alex's station teaching SinYing's group for some ice breaking session. heard from Leo that they didn't wanna play ice breaker games because they had too much already. this got me thinking what else can i do with them if that's the case... they aren't that bonded from what i hear. odd... oh well, shall settle it next week then

The people of the world will never thank God. When something good happens to them they will say they are lucky. The expression “Lucky” has in its etymology “Lucifier” !

When something bad happens to the people of the world, they say “My God!” or attribute the natural disaster to “An Act Of God”

So where does God get His praise and thanks? His People

Be different from the world. Thank God for what you go through. Out of your mess will come a message to bless others.

this post is dedicated to Carmen

i must say, throughout all this while when i face the tough times and the best times of my life, as to date, i really appreciate how my beloved girl friend had made her footprints visible and distinct in all this episodes of my life story. i think about it, i see that i'm really fortunate to have such a friend to back me up when i'm totally pathetic, to see the positive out of the negative point of view, to teach me to relax and enjoy life as troubles and worries pace up at my doorsteps and to give me some of her warm advice.

i really want to make this known because i'm simply proud of the friendship we shared, your footprints in my life had made a great contribution to where i am now. indeed, when i'm stressed up, i do unusual stuffs and you were there to try calm me down and make things work out in a positive manner. i guess this is the toughest job ever because not even gerald can do that. he simply just go with the flow instead of solving the problem itself.

what's more? you let me know that i am also important in your life, in a subtle way, be it the different lifestyle that we are living in now, you still care for me. also, you would always want to meet me up despite the fact that i'm boring and always busy. when you have problems, you gave me a space to voice my opinions and you take them into your own considerations, allowing me to fulfill 1 simple basic objective of friendship from a common phrase "what're friends for?"

it's just irritating that those letters i wrote you are stuck in a bottle. i guess i gotta wait for you to return before i could pass them to you. sad...

jusy wanna say a big Thank You! you really are a great friend

oh no!!! hermits facing death!

gerald's hermit crab passed away last night! can you believe? now i really wonder if i have the skill or the required basic cabitat for my 3 little buddies to stay alive and wander around. indeed, marine animals are hard to please. but one thing remains a mystery, why did gerald's hermit crab died given the cabitat? is it the lack of sun since the shore is always facing the sun's glare? or food? or temperature?

gotta stay strong constance!!!

'Let others lead small lives, argue over small things, cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you'

- Jim Rohn

i have always believed that you, as a host of your life, should be responsible of all the things you do and be courageous to face the consequences that will subsequently follow with all the decisions made. the words that you say, the things and actions you do, the lapse of time when things are suppose to happen, it's all connected and contributed to how people gather their impression of you. so be sure of who you are, what you can do and not do, how you want others to know you and what they should gather impressions of you because every little step has a slack risk of making misinterpretations.

this is just who you are, the more you push your limit, the more it'll hurt. but just bear with it for the sake of everyone, it'll be over before you knew it. there is a greater purpose in where you are although it may look as if it's not where you belong.

ps. not directing to anyone in case you don't realize. it's just how constance would face the problem with a clear mind and she needs reminders when she's not composed.

3 hermit crab from gerald

when i thought my hermit crab lives like how Nat's hermit crab lived, i was wrong. i checked out the internet and they stated that land hermit crabs do eat egg shells for meals, it didn't work on mine. so what are they?? one thing i observed is that they like submerging themselves in water, so i check the internet out for more information on tidal or marine hermit crabs. more confusion arise as there isn't much information about it, so based on pictures, i assumed my hermit crab is part of the species in marine areas and of course, gave them water to submerge themselves. yup, they are happy now. i think they got too comfortable with the area in fact.

i have officially name this fellow 'Greedie' because he's been stealing food from all the other hermit crabs. how do i tame this fellow? in fact, he's also always bully the other fellows that were bunking with him in the same tank. gosh... i'm really worried that it'll pinch one of their limbs off during a fight man.

this is "chirpy". kinda named him that because he's the first to chirp among the 3 musketeers. well, he's always bullied by greedie since he's smaller in size compared to greedie. nothing much about him so far other than the fact that he likes to pester greedie for no reason. perhaps he's just being territorial?

finally, "scaredee" is the only girl i have discovered so far who was pregnant for the past week until yesterday, she gave birth to lots of larvae babies. so what's with the name? as you can see the picture above, she's always hiding her head in her shell with a pair of eyes sticking out. don't really know why she's so timid though. few days ago, she was bubbling. i was so worried that she would die since it's the sign of all dead crabs before their death. i checked out the internet and got to know that these crabs bubble mainly because they needed more moisture on their body under the wrong humidity and temperature. to get that, they bubble. otherwise, it's just stress. cool fact heh?

here's the larvae that scaredee gave birth to. initially i thought it looked like mosquito larvae trying to survive in her cabitat but i just psycho-ed myself that it's not. until now, i'm still quite uncertain if it's mosquito larvae or hermit crab larvae. oh well, gotta wait till it grows to a pupa. take a closer look with my small magnifying glass down below.

feeling lousy: i don't wanna grow up

was feeling rather upset today despite the fact that my group had finally finished the marketing project that lasted for a substantial torturous number of months. was once again feeling the loneliness when the group starts chattering, i realized i have nothing much to chat with them. part of the main reason is that they speak chinese and use a different wavelength as me. or perhaps their interests doesn't interest me at all that causes the barrier to speak a word during their social conversation. i tried and i tried real hard but i guess they don't see it. i always felt that barrier when i'm with them but not so much in fpa. why is that so?? i really feel lousy to have no real friends that i can call 'friends' in school. all of them are just acquaintances who are constantly trying HDs by all means. i wanted to hate my life but i know that won't do me good, in the first place, i'm the one that makes decisions in my life and by hating my life makes life seems meaningless.

i also figure out that i like being childish because i wanna capture what have been lost in my youthful days even though i'm aging day by day. however, this characteristic puts me in a disposition among my peers as they would not enjoy doing what i like best. see what i mean? how can i find friends that i would enjoy their company with and with the same frequency? and the closest to that would be gerald's group of friends without a doubt. but everytime i join his gang, i'll feel some sort of difference that took me a while to realize it. his gang share times together in camps, courses and workshops as well as planning and commitments that i cannot participate. you know how sucky that feels? it's the same as your group of friends having fun out there without you just because you are not allowed to come along. you know what? i rather not know the fun they will be experiencing cause it hurts. it will hurt badly...

what's more, my girlfriend had been going overseas for all the fun and sight seeing while im here in singapore facing all the odds myself. i really hate it..

what i'm left to do now is to bond with my new post in fpa and church camp commitment, and of cause this dreadful studies of mine.

how to study???

just thought this pictures is funny and creepy. oh well, trying to get myself to study but dun think the time i spent was productive today. gosh... i wanna do well for exams but how to do that at this rate???

i.. M... IN!!!!! WoooHoooo~

you must be wondering what other time-consuming commitment have i got myself into right?

about a month ago, i had this interview for an executive committee post in Film & Performing Arts and was hoping to be the president of that cca but because my producer scared us with all the responsibilities a president hold in SIM, i kinda changed my decision and went for the producer post as my first and president the second choice.

and the results!!! it is finally out... haha

just had a meeting this tuesday to know our post in this cca and then they revealed the 0h-so-very-long-awaited result. and yes, i got PRODUCER post!! haha.. it's somewhat like production manager where it focuses more a major project that the output of it has to be grand and impactful. i don't where do i begin man... i'm just waiting for my producer to give me some starters...

also, another thing that made me real glad was the revision of economics where i was really upset that all my friends got the same kind of answer for the mcq test 2 except myself. i was so worried that i would fail this time round because i didn't have enough to catch up with what i've missed out and actually cried after taking the test. what's interesting is the revision today, lecturer went through the test questions and my friends realized that they had made a number of mistakes in the test, this also means that i have a higher chance of getting my answers right!! haha...

then came the night.

i thought it was a screwed up day today where i planned to go carmen's house but yet my uni friend needed accompaniment in sengkang since he's got some time to spare and isn't very sure about this place. so i did project work in school for quite some time when i thought it would only take a while. and then brought my friend to sengkang. my gor called to meet me at compass to do something that i wasn't informed of, it was a command that means i can't see carmen. carmen said i could have gotten a free entry to watch "titans" with the benefit from her dad and that she met liwei marcus and wai hong who are also watching the same show which i presume the same time slot. gosh, i felt so terrible hearing that man. this is the time where i was irritated with myself because i don't get to do what i wanna do if i wanna be some one good. it's like i started harboring this thought that it's my life and i should learn to live the way i want it, after all it's the only life i'm living.

after what happened tonight i can assure you that living a life that you desire is never a satisfaction and it'll only turn out to be a life wasted because it's heading to no particular direction without any purpose and reason.

although i have realised the opportunity lost to bond with my friends, something touching occurred. i met my bros after my friend left me for his other appointment. i was only in thought of dinner because i haven't eaten yet but gor brought me to metro and made me choose 2 very expensive bras for myself as a gift from him. he did this on the day when he received his pay from his work as he knows that i have very little of it and most are old, not my size any more, didn't want me to have a potential in getting breast cancer. you know, my mum don't do shopping with me with regards to this, that's why its touching that my gor cast aside his ego to shop with me and even bought me expensive goods on his pay day!

you see, you may be thinking its fortunate to have siblings in the family but not every siblings in a family behaves like this. and think about it, if i really went my way to do what i wanted, i would miss this precious time to bond with my bros and receive their love for me. in a larger scale, if i insisted in going along with my desires, i would have forgone all that surprises and blessings that every one else had prepared for me, wasting their effort as well.

some times, it's really not about what you want, it's what others want to bless you with that would make you appreciate life a little more. so receive and accept joyfully people reading this...

as for me, i don't wanna live a selfish life, i wanna dedicate this life into serving God and loving his people.

news!!

i got my new flip flops yesterday at parkway!! haha.. so happy. so now, my feet won't stink because of my flip flops. yay

gosh, the executive committee post result will be out tomorrow and i'm like.. so anxious about it. wow.. haven't felt this for a long time but oh well, shall not hope for the best. i guess the basis of it is to avoid feeling disappointed i think.

just last 2 nights ago, went for the musical post production celebration where we review the musical once again and then karaoke session. after which a stupid movie called Frat Party and then some card games before going for bed. however, i didn't really get much sleep due to alcohol but oh well... had to wake up early the next day in order to be punctual for sunday service. gosh...

anyway, just days before this faithful day, had a gathering session with the old production committees and members. having supper and chat all the way till late, with that comes consequences where i almost got scolded by my parents. thankfully, it didn't happen.

happy thoughts

Colossians 1:10-12

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, (11) being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully (12) giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[b] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

just find it very comforting to know that those that follows God will be molded into christ-likeness and be ever happy and joyful. and the best blessing is the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom where our ancestors share the same as we are included in the family of God. =p this passage really make me happy

a beautiful yesterday makes totally boring today

i sense that wai is getting real bored at home and needs to do some reading on people's life, so here it goes...

alright

"yesterday~ my life seems so far away... lalalalala oh i believe in yesterday..."

so yesterday, it was FREE CONE'S DAY!!! as usual, it's carmen and my routine to queue up for the ben & jerry's ice cream on this faithful event. but before that, gerald came to my house because he had nothing else to do and decided to "fetch me" to vivo where our never ending queue awaits us. it's ok that carmen had to go out with her mum so she's a little late for the whole queuing process. most importantly, she got 1 free cone!! well, i had 3 1/2 cones and gerald had 1 1/2 cones. wahahahaha!! i'm the ultimate winner!!!!

anyway, after that we went to watch 3d version and it's really good!! i like that show! think the night fury (aka toothless) is so cute!! i wanna watch again! haha

and what's up with today? it's just class in the morning then project discussion n it all finally ended in the afternoon. so here i am, typing my words in this post before i go to bed for a nap. gosh, life's just so dull... ok ok, maybe it's wrong for me to say my life is dull because i've got a lot of commitments already. =p think i wanna go out and have fun. real fun and games... any suggestions?

lopsided

what a rare sight in singapore isn't it? this vehicle is heavily lopsided to the left and it just kept going and going on the road. sometimes, i wonder if we are at any one point like this truck too? being greedy in putting so much weight on our shoulders until the day we couldn't handle it anymore and subsequently break down?

yup, i must say i am like that. but i'm sure i'm not the only one, many singaporeans do that too because they just don't want to sacrifice another trip to and fro. i know my friends, i'm getting too much load on myself, but i'm lightening it already. theory exam is over just yesterday, i think i will have more chances in getting higher salary now. =p