1 down and 3 to go..

oh yes... one down to freedom... i just can't wait to be free from this invisible bondage that deprives me from friends and fun. argh.. oh well... i should really invest some time for myself to catch up with the things i like since i've given more space from responsibilities. alright, shall do that after exams... i wanna stayover carmen's place!!!! i wanna go shopping spree!!! i wanna achieve grade 5 violin! i wanna compose a lot of songs! i wanna jam!

by the way, i really do wish i could treat church like how i would treat FPA. you may ask why can't i do it all the same? well, there is this thing called overwriting authority that i do not wish to end up doing and knowing that by doing so will not reap pleasant return so why bother? a lot of times, i thought there is a lot to be done to work on the youths interest and getting them to know God in the things they meet everyday but somehow i just don't know if the things we are doing actually help the youths. i really wonder... are we doing our job properly? something i realized about people is that when a small group gather to work on something with joy, more would like to join in. i tried sharing with the committee back then but they chuck this idea aside. so.. i suppose i've got nothing else to say other than voicing out problems i see.. recently they went to USS due to some sudden change. the funny thing is, why don't all the youths get excited for it even though they've been there before? another problem, the sudden change of the USS outing may be inevitable but i wonder aren't all outings focused on developing youths? so what happened to the attendance? what exactly is the core problem? i really wonder if they actually saw the core problem.. i saw it and knew what has to be done but i'm definitely not in any place to say anything even though i'm suppose to have. i didn't wanna take up the responsibility to lead the solution because it'll take a while for it to progress and i'm not staying in this church long enough for a reason. so it's not wise to start leading or suggesting the committee towards a different direction. haiya... if only... seriously... if only i knew the Big plan. i wouldn't feel so impatient and irritated with all that has happened, for sure...