juz crapping...

I must...

2012-01-15T10:11:00.001+08:00

Revive band.
For several reasons.
To ensure music played will not be a distraction to congregation
Band will go on for generations to come
I will not be selfish with the info imparted to me but to share
Create bonds among the youths
Offer my life to God and be part of His plan. That'll be real cool

what a terrific week!

2011-11-21T10:43:00.003+08:00

tonight, i'll be facing CCA Awards Night and i truly hope that FPA would win something. i don't know if i'll win anything as an individual and i think i didn't do enough to win a title. either way, i'm already happy that if FPA could be recognized for their profession.

last 2 days ago was our 4th Anniversary. wow... it's awesome!! i had a great time and i think perhaps our anniversary will get better over the years. hahaha

and post anniversary celebration the next day was at USS!!! with his relatives!!! how cool right??? for the first time, i went to USS!! oh my gosh.. it was like vacation to me!!

1 down and 3 to go..

2011-10-24T16:20:00.003+08:00

oh yes... one down to freedom... i just can't wait to be free from this invisible bondage that deprives me from friends and fun. argh.. oh well... i should really invest some time for myself to catch up with the things i like since i've given more space from responsibilities. alright, shall do that after exams... i wanna stayover carmen's place!!!! i wanna go shopping spree!!! i wanna achieve grade 5 violin! i wanna compose a lot of songs! i wanna jam!

by the way, i really do wish i could treat church like how i would treat FPA. you may ask why can't i do it all the same? well, there is this thing called overwriting authority that i do not wish to end up doing and knowing that by doing so will not reap pleasant return so why bother? a lot of times, i thought there is a lot to be done to work on the youths interest and getting them to know God in the things they meet everyday but somehow i just don't know if the things we are doing actually help the youths. i really wonder... are we doing our job properly? something i realized about people is that when a small group gather to work on something with joy, more would like to join in. i tried sharing with the committee back then but they chuck this idea aside. so.. i suppose i've got nothing else to say other than voicing out problems i see.. recently they went to USS due to some sudden change. the funny thing is, why don't all the youths get excited for it even though they've been there before? another problem, the sudden change of the USS outing may be inevitable but i wonder aren't all outings focused on developing youths? so what happened to the attendance? what exactly is the core problem? i really wonder if they actually saw the core problem.. i saw it and knew what has to be done but i'm definitely not in any place to say anything even though i'm suppose to have. i didn't wanna take up the responsibility to lead the solution because it'll take a while for it to progress and i'm not staying in this church long enough for a reason. so it's not wise to start leading or suggesting the committee towards a different direction. haiya... if only... seriously... if only i knew the Big plan. i wouldn't feel so impatient and irritated with all that has happened, for sure...

studying bullshit

2011-10-20T20:51:00.006+08:00

oh yay!! i finally changed blogskin and everything else. oh well.. this post is just to test out how it really looks and all..

anyway, i've got 2 major projects on hand in which this projects requires me to fly all around in gathering the right people to make it work. i don't think i'll be able to do it myself and i know FPA will help me with it. in any case, i'm entering my exams next monday and i really hope it will all work out fine given the amount of time spent on FPA and studies. not sure by going to lectures will help me secure a pass for this semester but i really hope for the best. some of the subjects were clearly off my mind because i find it a bullshit and most people agrees with me. still, no choice, need to pass, i'm gonna be studying BULLSHIT for another 3 wks! argh... will pretty stink after that...

almost the last lap in FPA

2011-10-11T11:30:00.006+08:00

On this faithful day, I realized how much FPA had grown to become. It has gained back it's popularity, proven its ability, given opportunity and had learned to nurture other clubs which I was too ignorant to have noticed. Indeed, I have pushed FPA to this height and now it is finally enjoying its glory. All within just one year, so much has changed. I’m proud of my members who’ve worked so hard with me and will always treasure that bond we shared throughout this journey. It’s too bad I’m a person who doesn’t remember what I’ve done during the process of building but a person who only knew what is to be done based on situations. Always looking ahead for FPA but was never able to keep explicit knowledge in order to leave a trail for the others in line. Seeing FPA soaring up above the other clubs just made me dread to end my appointment but knowing that my work here is done and completed, there is no other purpose for me to stay in where I am. Watching FPA reap its harvest was the greatest joy I have for this club. Its recognitions from clubs as well as school had brought me great satisfaction and I’m truly grateful for FPA in giving me this opportunity to lead and also to know myself better.

on a side not:

the school hopes to get a montage from us on student week and open house. if it is done well, they would like to PURCHASE it from us. how cool is that right? FPA is awesome!

It is done.

2011-10-07T10:10:00.001+08:00

Ya know, I thought the club still needs a lot of time to stabilize, given the no. Of truly involved people. But this few days blew me away and also caused my understanding of FPA to change. I suppose FPA has grown quite a bit and I was lagging behind in realizing it's growth.

I have stepped down from presidency. Hurray!! I don't know why but I feel glad for FPA to once again be on track with other clubs. Format, structure, bonds have been set so now it's up to the next president to maintain or improve on it. Although I'm still considered an exco despite stepping down, I'm gonna be a shadow there as negotiated with my successor. Hee

what should i do?

2011-09-18T14:27:00.002+08:00

i'm once again placed in two diverse route in which both are good in their own ways. the only thing for me to do is just to simply choose which route to take. what should i do? which path should i take? and if i do take this path, will everyone be understanding enough to give leeway? why is everyone telling me to keep to one particular path despite knowing that that path will require a lot more from me?

for the benefit of the reader, i'm in dilemma to stay as president in FPA or step down for the next yr. i want to step down because president here in uni is so different from one in poly and i'd like to keep life peaceful next yr so that smooth transition to Gerald's church may be commenced. that would also mean for me to prepare myself for the next phase of life that's coming my way in a few years time. in any case, stepping down allows other excos to step up and take the opportunity to experience leadership. after all, its student development we are talking about so therefore, it makes perfect sense for a movement of positions. in addition, i'll be entering my last semester next year where i'll be managing 5 modules instead of the normal 4. all 5 modules are project base and that requires a lot more time from me to focus on academics. therefore, the more i should let go of the president role so that i may focus on the last lap of school. however, my excos that i had encouraged to replace me somehow refused to step up and they would, at the most, take up VP. in fact, they wanted me to stay on another year to lead. likewise from the clubs i've once worked with, they would hope that i could stay on so that the clubs may continue to work together towards something huge. because of all this conflicting viewpoints, i consulted my parents and again, one would want me to stay on while the other suggest i step down due to the pile of work i have next yr. what should i do? what does God want me to do? this is indeed frustrating...

some updates

2011-09-03T08:22:00.003+08:00

i know i'm a little late in posting this but i know i have to because its something worth remember yet with my terrible memory, i guess i have to depend on this blogger for assistance.

anyway, FPA set up a recruit booth not long ago and thanks to the terrible design of the school we don't exactly get a crowd. partly also because of the estates ppl and the schedules of students... oh well... shall try other strategic location next time..

SHOWBUSK is an event that was started by me in SIM. this event has been known pretty widely to all the arts club. quite cool eh? i think this coming showbusk will be even better than the previous one. yes ah!!!

and well, SIM wanna thank students for our commitments and effort in making it vibrant, they invited us to SIM Annual Management Seminar on 26th august. soo coooooool!!! i get to meet the author of Tipping Point, Blink, Outlier & What the Dog Saw, Malcolm Gladwell!!! hahaha....

but i guess i wasn't very kind to him after all... kinda made him sign all my books + friend's books. it's once in a life time right? i hope its not too much to ask...

growing in power

2011-07-23T10:45:00.003+08:00

mediacorp reporters came down to SIM to give a workshop on the crisis and risk media management last night. although it's a long workshop, i totally find it fruitful. initially it focuses more on the sports and all but i kinda like look at what they are trying to say in a different angle. since they are reporters and have lots of experience in front of the camera, i thought it'll be beneficial if i could get down to the filming side so that my club can have another angle to branch out to. therefore, i approached our higher up, student development manager on his thoughts about investing some money on a handycam. he was positive about the idea and yes, my club is gonna purchase a camera! but that also means more proposals to do and submit to school. haiya... after which, i approached those mediacorp speakers for guidance to this filming route. and i must say, talking to them really inspire one to think further for the club. however, he was telling me that this new filming media that i will be working on will make me more powerful that the others. that also means FPA will be at the top above all other arts cca. huh..... but it's already at the top currently. with the additional "power" FPA will become invincible.... not a very good thing... at least to me, cuz then i have a problem stepping down. right now, i'm so confused.... what good is it to get so much power? i dont see the good side about it.

a rare opportunity

2011-07-20T11:24:00.002+08:00

i got approached by the SIM to act in a malaysian production where i'll be given the opportunity to act as a lead actress together with their malaysian idol 1st runner up as the lead actor. i really wonder is it a good idea to take it up.... at the same time i'm suppose to find another actor and actress to be the other sub characters.

the school staff really wants me to take it up as it is a rare opportunity and apparently i fit the description very well. sigh... the only problem is that it's a chinese script. i'm suppose to consider this offer thoroughly... so scary...

lesson learnt

2011-07-12T17:49:00.003+08:00

yesterday, i learned that as a President or in any leadership role, it's important to cease whining as the effects and impacts of it can be pretty overwhelming or, perhaps, unexpected and unwanted. afterall, there's nothing good that can really come out from whining so why bother wasting time doing that right? oh well... lesson learnt!

SSO Concert

2011-07-09T01:25:00.005+08:00

1st of all, i got a complimentary ticket from school to attend SSO concert where it's labelled as the President's Young Performers. surprisingly, my LEAD camp friends and i were seated 4 rows behind our President S R Nathan without advance notice. in any case, he was the attraction apparently. what was more surprising was when my camp friends weren't sure of requesting a picture taken with the conductor of SSO since he was walking towards our direction. they kinda pushed me to speak up for them and i did. guess what? we really took a few photos with the conductor and he is seriously tall man. he looked so young and pretty good in his suit. it'll be great if my bf could master an instrument. he already melt my heart in his own ways but if he actually mastered an instrument, i think my heart not only melt ah... might even evaporate! hahahaha okok lame lame... it's late at night and im talking nonsense already. oh well... time to go bed

i realized ppl do read my blog! im sorry to have kept you guys waiting for more updates!! i thought no one wanna read already and all the updates could have and would have bore you guys since it's just updates. so sorry...

exciting!

2011-07-08T01:14:00.002+08:00

i had an exciting wk once again. was due for LEAD Camp 2011 for all excos of different clubs to attend and get to know each other. tonight, i just performed for the RMIT Grad Show 2011 with a dance item coordinated by DanceArt and assisted by FPA. how cool! i'm definitely meeting a lot more people now and it's people of higher grounds (kinda scary but oh well) and i heard news that they wanna hire us to perform for school. how interesting isn't it?

another thing is that some of the club presidents wanna join forces in working on a production together. i was wondering if i should do this for the CCA. it definitely has more benefit to FPA as it is to me especially when i wanna step down from this post. by tapping on this production would mean i have another year to serve for this club, i'm not very sure if this is healthy for the club. haiya....

2011-06-16T01:42:00.003+08:00

while having insomnia, i decided to blog yet have no clue what should i blog about.

ok. i've been invigilating degree level examination for UOL and ACCA and it turn out to be quite fun. then again, it also depends on the partner they assigned to you to work with as you know, just working on the job scope makes work boring and mundane, so i socialized.

i've made many many friends even with those that didn't really wanna open up for some reason and i got a pretty good partner! he's really nice and hardworking (thus i slacked a bit) i also made many many friends during ShowBUSK (busking festival in SIM) in the month of February and Open House in the month of March. gosh.... i think i'm meeting too many people this yr.

can i stop socializing? i would love to do that once in a while but not permanently so that the need to rest after a tiring event is fulfilled.

ok i'm bored...

2011-02-10T19:43:00.002+08:00

Valentines' Day is coming...

to celebrate or not to celebrate? hmmmm...

let's just take a look at my commitment this yr:

gerald said i got 7 but i don't really know until i list them down

1]God

2]family

3]church

4]friends/bf

5]school

6]fpa

7]?

hmmm... is it heavy? i even thought of picking up violin and teaching piano. wow.. looks like i need more than 24hrs for a day

Birthday!

2011-01-19T23:59:00.000+08:00

it was a fun day and i really appreciate all those people that made time to surprise me on this day when i once thought it's just another normal day. so the celebration started on sunday with the opening of beef steamboat specially prepared by my dad. he knows i like beef pretty much!

after w while of monopoly deal, my castle cake was presented! wahaha.. and then picture taking.

and that was sunday celebration. now for the actual day it was amazing. i wanted to report sick the night before because i wasn't feeling well and was reluctant to go for the interview role playing. surprisingly, i did well for the interview even without any preparations. the lecturer said he would hire me, of course that's if its real interview. one more thing to note. during the interview, while i was in the role of an interviewee, one guys decided to upright flirt with me ! goodness! but i take it as a compliment lah... so after school, i wanted to leave for my appointment with carmen but i was hogged back by my fpa excos. there they surprised me with a cake!

oh gosh.. im so touched by them. i really didn't expect a cake and its my favorite cake too!! i'm beginning to see fpa more than a commitment and believe that's where all dreams come true. i'm loving my FPA now. and then i went to meet carmen!!!!

guess who i saw there too! alexandra! the TP cosplay guy. oh man.. he was with another girl though. heck it. Carmen and me shopped and ate. it was fun! its like the old times just that we dress differently and there were lesser constructions in progress now.

so the day ended with me going for flash mob practice where i got tossed and spin around by strong guys. felt kinda... weird though... haha

My first post of the yr with my beautiful phone!

2011-01-05T18:27:00.003+08:00

It's a new year!
Lots of worries lots of responsibilities...
I wonder if my body allows me to handle them all. Oh man... I think I haven't posted on my blog for a long time. I don't know what to write about. Oh man... Oh I know... New yr resolution.

Yr 2011 RESOLUTION
1. Time management
2. Eat when it's meals time
3. When happy, go kite-flying with bros. Otherwise, our usual hideout
4. Go shopping, movies, kinect exercise and marinating with Carmen
5. Make sure all activities are carried out smoothly for FPA
6. Maintain the level of commitment for church
7. Treat Gerald as family
8. Work on projects asap. No more slacking...

I think that's about it. I know it's a shitty resolution but that's all I could think of for now.

Film competition 2010 + my new baby love

2010-11-22T10:36:00.004+08:00

this video was done by FPA in participation to the e-Global Challenge 2010 Film Competition organized by kesuma and Muslim Culture and Malay Society of SIM.

it won us 4 awards:

- best actor

- best actress

- best director

- best storyline

sorry for the delay as i just wasn't motivated to upload it. haha

honestly speaking, it's not fantastic to me but i tried my best to edit here and there for the effect. however, i must agree i could used some other effects to make this video much more appealing. whichever it is, it's over and we won! haha... made FPA proud and i'm super proud of it although it's not very fantastic. FPA rox!

believe or not, i got trophy and certificate for best director! cool right?

anyways, after completing grade 8 for piano, i'm moving on to expand my knowledge of music. therefore, a new love is born...

what a beauty isn't she? i wanna name her like my own! ok, she's called "gift"

think cello and violin can complement each other pretty well together with the accompaniment of the piano. it's perfect.

this is like a dream come true. after mastering this instrument, i wanna master harp too. sigh... too ambitious? i think it's ok to dream big. i will not let all this knowledge go a waste. will share them only when i'm prepared to settle down. oooooohhh. it's so pretty...

it has begun!

2010-11-09T00:40:00.001+08:00

the good & the bad

here comes my worry

2010-11-01T23:18:00.002+08:00

as i said i either be over-committed to something or not at all and that's how i'm structured to be so extreme in my commitments.

in this FPA, i was told that production director was easy and i got the post. after president left for his education abroad, my post was in consideration to be promoted to vice-president. and now... the vice-president that got promoted to be president wants me to be president instead. i feel so scared to make decisions right now. i don't know what will i be handling this time if i were to listen and take up the post. i don't know what to expect. and i have to give my response this thursday morning.

so much to think about before my last exams.. how cruel...

stuck at home

2010-10-29T21:34:00.002+08:00

this is just one of the days that everyone else has plans but me. stuck at home not knowing what things to do other than studying for the next paper this monday which i haven't even read a single thing about it. i guess i might just take a nap now to burn midnight oil later. who knows? oh well, kinda feel alright being home alone.. perhaps i'm trying to console myself but nevertheless, it's somewhat a good way to spend time with just myself. feels weird but ok, i can learn.

so what should i do?

should i try to be a little more feminine by posing in front of the mirror and say hi to myself?

or perhaps experiment the make-up set i have?

record music?

currently i'm just playing backyard monster on facebook in order to avoid studying and enjoy the moment of relief after a paper has expired today.

i could have joined my bro to club and help share the load of drinking as his colleagues are eager to see him drunk. i bet i could be there as his tower defense man. (oops.. too much games =p)

or perhaps join my other bro for halloween party somewhere in town and get shocked by all those "stuffs" appearing around.

there's also another choice of joining gerald for church training which is similar to a lecture. the only difference is that you can't eat during the training session and you aren't allowed to slp. ehehe

well, i could also have joined carmen with her lesson since she's got class tonight. the thought of traveling back to school just scares me away when i was so glad that i reached home at 4pm.

as you can tell from the title, i'm home. the decision is simple. i'm tired and mentally exhausted. socializing takes a lot of my energy away and i don't think i can take it. initially i wanted to just go out with a group of frens or even just someone to chit chat and chill. i guess it's not happening tonight. the night is young but i'm turning in now. haha...

fears back

2010-10-19T09:00:00.003+08:00

once again, my fear is back.

after acknowledging the fact that i failed my accounting module last semester, i have no courage to face it again this semester. moreover, the rest of the modules i took this semester doesn't seem assuring for me to even make it for the next semester. so what have i been doing?

honestly speaking, if i look back at the days i spent this semester, i really don't know what was i doing for school. CCA? Projects? indeed, all i could remember was rushing to print my notes, group projects and individual projects and not so much of focusing in class. i wonder if i'm the only person experiencing this and i hope not. i must say this semester passed too quickly for me to even remember the much about it.

and back to studies now for there is no time to waste...

after wedding syndrome

2010-10-12T09:29:00.003+08:00

here's the picture of pretty girls sitting around the table on Malvin & Jan's wedding night. i'm not suppose to be there because i'm suppose to be at the relatives seat. aiya.. even Malvin was wondering where would i be sitting... haha. oh well, managed to take that picture with them when i took my chances to do some table visitations.

well, i've always disliked dressing up so... it's really hard for me to make myself do it. before all that jazz in the wedding dinner, i was complaining half the time about doing make-ups and wearing dresses for weddings. i know all brides wanna be pretty on their wedding day but i just thought it's not the appearance the groom is marrying but the person itself. what i'm wondering is is it necessary for brides to dress-up on their wedding day?

i thought to myself about how i shall have my wedding planned as of 21yrs old mind:

1. montage shall be done by me!

2. bf shall pick selective songs to be played for wedding dinner (cuz i noticed their wedding restaurant played "you had a bad day")

3. dresses? hmm.. i wan short skirts for wedding album because i simply find the gown too long and uncomfortable. on the wedding night, i don't want make-up! light make-up is fine. hehe and i think i wanna wear shoes.. no wait. boots more like it. cool right? actually to be honest, i though of wearing pants as my option but my gor said he would kill me if i do that. haha

4. must choose humorous mc for the day

5. shall come out with the program flow for dinner cuz quite boring to just eat

6. must get 'on'/ enthu people to shout "yam seng" and conduct them like orchestra!

7. oh oh i want string quartet also!! piano also can lah but i find it boring

ok i can't think of any things else already. so i shall just stop here =p

life is just too short...

2010-10-03T21:40:00.005+08:00

some times, i gaze into the sky wondering what am i doing in this world and left that thought hanging. and then there are times where i wonder what if i were to die today, what would happen to everybody? and if i were to write my last words on a paper, telling everyone to have a party for my funeral, what would their expressions be? haha... think it'll be quite a memorable reaction in return.

so what if that really happens? what if you are about to die, what is certificates to you? what is money to you? what is achievements to you? aren't those suppose to add-value to your life?

majority spend their first quarter of life studying and achieving grades that would help boost their pride and fulfill their parent's wishes yet living a life not knowing where they are heading to. but is this what they want in life? is this what i want for life? and if your D-day comes would you find your life meaningful?

i know if i die now, i won't be satisfied with it. there's just so many things to do and so little time. and people would say "it's all about time management" which i don't deny. but i would wanna spend all my time knowing everything and acing nothing at all, the benefit is to meet people and search for that one i've been searching for the longest time. where are you? where could you be? i'm growing tired of waiting but it's this hope i'm holding on that kept me going...

so what is studies? now it has dawn to me that it's just an activity to know more people. in fact, to put it crudely, education is a waste of time for someone who wants to master something else than gaining academic intelligence. that's because i'm not clever nor am i smart and i'm no where near them. i like beautiful things and i like to create them from limited resources. i like to listen and i like to match music with sounds. most challenging is to match the pitch each environmental sound is produced. i like to dream in my sleep because they always amaze me. i like to look at the wonders of nature, the miracle of each living beings are form or each elements could create. i'm that sort that enjoys adventure and i would seek it before it seeks me. however, these adventures i'm referring to don't mean challenging the dangers of our human body, it's more like experiencing lives in a different way.

i don't wanna get stuck with work when i grow up. perhaps i shall work as a project servant and appreciate life to its potential instead of facing 4 walls and few windows in a not very conducive office. we shouldn't be captivated with workloads in a container rather to venture the world out there. and to know the beauty of this massive creation that lived way before human's record of history, i think our lives are just too short to see all that wonders

2010-09-29T21:58:00.001+08:00

whoooopps... my shoe...

seeking other solutions

2010-09-18T14:02:00.002+08:00

i must admit that i haven't been putting much thought and time to post updates on my blog. it makes me feel jealous to read other's blog because i know that i don't exactly have that much luxury to write what i feel anymore. perhaps i should try to commit a post per week? could be a good start?

do you know that i'm currently taking the role of PRODUCTION DIRECTOR? it's now imprinted into my CCA transcript and when i saw it, i almost got a heart-attack. why? that's because it's a big word and it weighs too much responsibilities that i doubt i am fit to be in that position. i feel like killing myself due to all those responsibilities that i'm carrying. in fact, i think i killed myself many times already, it's a wonder why i'm still alive. whichever it is, my academics and CCA is making me stressed so much that i wanna run away from everything that i am right now. despite all that feeling, i ironically feels glad to take up this post as it is somewhat a chance for me to know myself, my leadership skills, first hand. that's also because of the kind of leadership history i had in the past that i kinda quit halfway through, it's not a very proud thing to do but i admit i lacked that confidence to pull through it.

this brings me to say... i need a break from this world. again. i need to refresh myself before i get burnt out. sadly, my dad is still against the idea for me to go overseas even though i'm an adult already. i don't want to upset my dad, so i won't push it. what's worse is that i realized the kind of person i am since the past and it never really change much even now. my brothers and i had a chat last night about the freedom we have to make decisions. i then come to realise that i'm that sort who have the "imaginary" boundary i would never cross. and since i knew i would never cross, i don't even put much effort into devising a plan to break it. it has been seen since young... gosh... now i understand why i would refrain myself from upsetting my dad because there is this boundary of "once you cross there's no way of gaining back the trust from your parents" constantly but unconsciously prompting me.

i guess i just have to look for some other solutions then.

sianz..

2010-09-09T15:42:00.002+08:00

happy and sad..

happy for the violin students getting distinction for grade 3, distinction for grade 2, merit and pass for grade 1. i guess they really did a good job when i was in the exam room with them.

sad for having myself labelled in their exam script. it's never a good comment or impression when the examiner decides to write something that relates to the pianist. the examiner wrote something like "the ensemble had difficulty in arising" which meant the pianist had difficulty accompanying the violinist as commented by their violin teacher. damn sad...

current committments

2010-08-11T08:39:00.002+08:00

it used to be this amount of workload i was holding onto the past month, i suppose.

1. school work

3 individual assessments (all due in a month's time or less)

2 group assessments

2. production manager role

= 2yrs plan

= script training

film training

production

editing training

finally screening

+ FPA finance matters

+ sourcing out trainers for FPA workshops

3. committee member for church gospel camp in dec

4. church youth room decor i/c

5. currently enrolled in First Aid Course and there's exam next sunday!!!

6. will be involved in Chingay for SIM

7. Ambassador for FPA

= need to source out make-up artist

look for dress

have to maintain GPA!!! (i wanna cry already)

Now...

it's gonna be:

1. church committee gospel camp

2. church room i/c

3. accompanist for 4 violinists taking their grade 1, 2, 3 exam this week

4. piano teacher for 2 students (not confirmed yet)

5. monitoring the progress of scripwriting course

6. HMT & ER projects due soon, HRM due the week after.

2010-07-24T00:02:00.002+08:00

i like this picture...

and this picture the most!

kinda like the effect that the mask gives though.. well, like what the photographer said, mysterious.... too bad i don't know how to smirk properly if not the photoshoot would have been much at ease..

photo Shoot!

2010-07-21T10:28:00.003+08:00

today's the first item of my stress list to be off the chart. awesome! just that i dislike putting on make-up because i have trouble taking them off and dislike dresses because they limit my movement. oh! don't forget the heels, they kill my feet and i'll never forget that.

anyways, if i ever get a hold of my photos from the photo shoot, will try and make the effort to post it here. if it's nice i'll post it on facebook loh.. and i don't think i'll be proud of it as my face will be covered with a layer of powder which doesn't really show myself as myself. ya... eeeeeee and the dress!! aiya.. it's lacy.. why would i be happy wearing it? it's so... girl... eeee

commitments!! ahhhhhhh

2010-07-15T23:29:00.006+08:00

tell me why shouldn't i be stressed when i have the following commitments entrusted to me:

1. school work

3 individual assessments (all due in a month's time or less)

2 group assessments

2. production manager role

= 2yrs plan

= script training

film training

production

editing training

finally screening

+ FPA finance matters

+ sourcing out trainers for FPA workshops

3. committee member for church gospel camp in dec

4. church youth room decor i/c

5. currently enrolled in First Aid Course and there's exam next sunday!!!

6. will be involved in Chingay for SIM

7. Ambassador for FPA

= need to source out make-up artist

look for dress

have to maintain GPA!!! (i wanna cry already)

saying a little prayer

2010-07-10T00:52:00.002+08:00

oh Lord,

teach me to accept people with differences

teach me to accept their weaknesses and strengths

teach me to accept who they are and what they have become

teach me to accept that very part of them which seems unbearable

teach me to accept them with love

teach me to accept them like how you accept us in thy Kingdom

teach me your ways so that i may learn and follow

for Your ways shall be my ways

Your words be my words

and as the Heavens are higher than the earth

so are Your ways higher than my ways

and Your thoughts than my thoughts

school is starting soon.. again..

2010-06-28T11:53:00.003+08:00

i dread school.

i dread it so much that i wished i never lived this moment.

never had to meet new faces in a blast

never had to face this fear of failure

never had to waste this time on something redundant

really hope someone could help me through this stage.

i just wanna run away...

i had a happening week

2010-05-29T11:48:00.003+08:00

just a brief updates of the events that happened but wasn't mentioned until now. oops

back when i was in the midst of preparing for my exams in uni, i had this guys to chill with at ikea. it was one of those random days where there was this sudden urge to go ikea and we just headed there unplanned. didn't went for the furnitures but the food. haha... i think ikea might get disappointed with their furniture losing out to the food they offered in terms of attraction.

and there, there...i dyed my hair copper. too bad it's not that reflective under fluorescent lights but oh well, i like that color!! i like straight hair too!! i wan short hair! but i got curly and almost long hair now... how sad that i can't get it cut since people are so against the idea.

after some time, there came graduation day for gerald. family photo!

and then on 26th may 2010, wednesday, i had some time with Carmen at iluma for... i don't know... shopping? she wanna go out for a walk, i wanna stay home while gerald needs to lavender for his passport. i thought it'll be great for both carmen and gerald to go lavender so gerald gets his things done and carmen get to do some walk walk and i get to stay home!! haha... it didn't happen. all 3 of us went out for walk walk. and after a short notice of wai and gabriel going sengkang swimming complex for a swim, we all head there to join them. how cool right? just heading out without and plans... kinda like to do all that on the spot things. kinda fun

27th may 2010

i went church for some logistics help out and then to teo heng for karaoke with carmen, gabriel, waihong, gerald and carolyn! after that, gerald, germaine and me went to east coast to celebrate their grandma's birthday till late man.. as in late late. only got home about 4am and then had to wake up early for kite-flying tmr

kite-flying was kinda tough when you have 2 strings to handle and manage. my kite was given by my brothers as birthday present last year. i didn't really had a successful flight last year... at least there was some improvement this time. haha

old flame for PC

2010-05-14T23:05:00.003+08:00

just when i thought there's nothing much that i could contribute to Production Crew in order to benefit them in any ways possible, i found myself a new task to help bond the freshies more in their assigned groups. once again, i felt my time spent in PC workshop meaningful because everyone get to know each other better throughout the workshop and retarded games we play. haha...

last week, i helped leo's group with bonding and that was unplanned for. initially, i was planning to just look-see the different workshops and perhaps wander about the different stations. little did i expect myself to be drawn by Daven into ice-breaking with Leo's group. how interesting isn't it? it turned out that, most of them, by the end of the whole session, managed to remember each others names and even exchanged numbers which i thought it's super duper important!

today, i helped out with Liwei's group in XiuXian's station because XiuXian said he has problems playing ice-breaker games with them. i tried but they aren't as active as what i expected of them, worst, the activity's wire was too long for them to coil, so it turned out to be a long game. thankfully, with XiuXian's bright idea to play 2 games con-currently, the flow was faster. glad to hear, XiuXian was really satisfied with today's workshop because of their positive attitude and their hunger to learn, it all made it worthwhile coming down to help.

next week, i will be visiting alex's station teaching SinYing's group for some ice breaking session. heard from Leo that they didn't wanna play ice breaker games because they had too much already. this got me thinking what else can i do with them if that's the case... they aren't that bonded from what i hear. odd... oh well, shall settle it next week then

2010-05-09T22:27:00.001+08:00

The people of the world will never thank God. When something good happens to them they will say they are lucky. The expression “Lucky” has in its etymology “Lucifier” !

When something bad happens to the people of the world, they say “My God!” or attribute the natural disaster to “An Act Of God”

So where does God get His praise and thanks? His People

Be different from the world. Thank God for what you go through. Out of your mess will come a message to bless others.

this post is dedicated to Carmen

2010-04-28T00:19:00.004+08:00

i must say, throughout all this while when i face the tough times and the best times of my life, as to date, i really appreciate how my beloved girl friend had made her footprints visible and distinct in all this episodes of my life story. i think about it, i see that i'm really fortunate to have such a friend to back me up when i'm totally pathetic, to see the positive out of the negative point of view, to teach me to relax and enjoy life as troubles and worries pace up at my doorsteps and to give me some of her warm advice.

i really want to make this known because i'm simply proud of the friendship we shared, your footprints in my life had made a great contribution to where i am now. indeed, when i'm stressed up, i do unusual stuffs and you were there to try calm me down and make things work out in a positive manner. i guess this is the toughest job ever because not even gerald can do that. he simply just go with the flow instead of solving the problem itself.

what's more? you let me know that i am also important in your life, in a subtle way, be it the different lifestyle that we are living in now, you still care for me. also, you would always want to meet me up despite the fact that i'm boring and always busy. when you have problems, you gave me a space to voice my opinions and you take them into your own considerations, allowing me to fulfill 1 simple basic objective of friendship from a common phrase "what're friends for?"

it's just irritating that those letters i wrote you are stuck in a bottle. i guess i gotta wait for you to return before i could pass them to you. sad...

jusy wanna say a big Thank You! you really are a great friend

oh no!!! hermits facing death!

2010-04-24T13:28:00.003+08:00

gerald's hermit crab passed away last night! can you believe? now i really wonder if i have the skill or the required basic cabitat for my 3 little buddies to stay alive and wander around. indeed, marine animals are hard to please. but one thing remains a mystery, why did gerald's hermit crab died given the cabitat? is it the lack of sun since the shore is always facing the sun's glare? or food? or temperature?

gotta stay strong constance!!!

2010-04-23T10:28:00.002+08:00

'Let others lead small lives, argue over small things, cry over small hurts, but not you. Let others leave their future in someone else's hands, but not you'

- Jim Rohn

i have always believed that you, as a host of your life, should be responsible of all the things you do and be courageous to face the consequences that will subsequently follow with all the decisions made. the words that you say, the things and actions you do, the lapse of time when things are suppose to happen, it's all connected and contributed to how people gather their impression of you. so be sure of who you are, what you can do and not do, how you want others to know you and what they should gather impressions of you because every little step has a slack risk of making misinterpretations.

this is just who you are, the more you push your limit, the more it'll hurt. but just bear with it for the sake of everyone, it'll be over before you knew it. there is a greater purpose in where you are although it may look as if it's not where you belong.

ps. not directing to anyone in case you don't realize. it's just how constance would face the problem with a clear mind and she needs reminders when she's not composed.

3 hermit crab from gerald

2010-04-18T10:16:00.008+08:00

when i thought my hermit crab lives like how Nat's hermit crab lived, i was wrong. i checked out the internet and they stated that land hermit crabs do eat egg shells for meals, it didn't work on mine. so what are they?? one thing i observed is that they like submerging themselves in water, so i check the internet out for more information on tidal or marine hermit crabs. more confusion arise as there isn't much information about it, so based on pictures, i assumed my hermit crab is part of the species in marine areas and of course, gave them water to submerge themselves. yup, they are happy now. i think they got too comfortable with the area in fact.

i have officially name this fellow 'Greedie' because he's been stealing food from all the other hermit crabs. how do i tame this fellow? in fact, he's also always bully the other fellows that were bunking with him in the same tank. gosh... i'm really worried that it'll pinch one of their limbs off during a fight man.

this is "chirpy". kinda named him that because he's the first to chirp among the 3 musketeers. well, he's always bullied by greedie since he's smaller in size compared to greedie. nothing much about him so far other than the fact that he likes to pester greedie for no reason. perhaps he's just being territorial?

finally, "scaredee" is the only girl i have discovered so far who was pregnant for the past week until yesterday, she gave birth to lots of larvae babies. so what's with the name? as you can see the picture above, she's always hiding her head in her shell with a pair of eyes sticking out. don't really know why she's so timid though. few days ago, she was bubbling. i was so worried that she would die since it's the sign of all dead crabs before their death. i checked out the internet and got to know that these crabs bubble mainly because they needed more moisture on their body under the wrong humidity and temperature. to get that, they bubble. otherwise, it's just stress. cool fact heh?

here's the larvae that scaredee gave birth to. initially i thought it looked like mosquito larvae trying to survive in her cabitat but i just psycho-ed myself that it's not. until now, i'm still quite uncertain if it's mosquito larvae or hermit crab larvae. oh well, gotta wait till it grows to a pupa. take a closer look with my small magnifying glass down below.

feeling lousy: i don't wanna grow up

2010-04-07T23:04:00.005+08:00

was feeling rather upset today despite the fact that my group had finally finished the marketing project that lasted for a substantial torturous number of months. was once again feeling the loneliness when the group starts chattering, i realized i have nothing much to chat with them. part of the main reason is that they speak chinese and use a different wavelength as me. or perhaps their interests doesn't interest me at all that causes the barrier to speak a word during their social conversation. i tried and i tried real hard but i guess they don't see it. i always felt that barrier when i'm with them but not so much in fpa. why is that so?? i really feel lousy to have no real friends that i can call 'friends' in school. all of them are just acquaintances who are constantly trying HDs by all means. i wanted to hate my life but i know that won't do me good, in the first place, i'm the one that makes decisions in my life and by hating my life makes life seems meaningless.

i also figure out that i like being childish because i wanna capture what have been lost in my youthful days even though i'm aging day by day. however, this characteristic puts me in a disposition among my peers as they would not enjoy doing what i like best. see what i mean? how can i find friends that i would enjoy their company with and with the same frequency? and the closest to that would be gerald's group of friends without a doubt. but everytime i join his gang, i'll feel some sort of difference that took me a while to realize it. his gang share times together in camps, courses and workshops as well as planning and commitments that i cannot participate. you know how sucky that feels? it's the same as your group of friends having fun out there without you just because you are not allowed to come along. you know what? i rather not know the fun they will be experiencing cause it hurts. it will hurt badly...

what's more, my girlfriend had been going overseas for all the fun and sight seeing while im here in singapore facing all the odds myself. i really hate it..

what i'm left to do now is to bond with my new post in fpa and church camp commitment, and of cause this dreadful studies of mine.

how to study???

2010-04-06T17:09:00.003+08:00

just thought this pictures is funny and creepy. oh well, trying to get myself to study but dun think the time i spent was productive today. gosh... i wanna do well for exams but how to do that at this rate???

i.. M... IN!!!!! WoooHoooo~

2010-04-01T15:34:00.009+08:00

you must be wondering what other time-consuming commitment have i got myself into right?

about a month ago, i had this interview for an executive committee post in Film & Performing Arts and was hoping to be the president of that cca but because my producer scared us with all the responsibilities a president hold in SIM, i kinda changed my decision and went for the producer post as my first and president the second choice.

and the results!!! it is finally out... haha

just had a meeting this tuesday to know our post in this cca and then they revealed the 0h-so-very-long-awaited result. and yes, i got PRODUCER post!! haha.. it's somewhat like production manager where it focuses more a major project that the output of it has to be grand and impactful. i don't where do i begin man... i'm just waiting for my producer to give me some starters...

also, another thing that made me real glad was the revision of economics where i was really upset that all my friends got the same kind of answer for the mcq test 2 except myself. i was so worried that i would fail this time round because i didn't have enough to catch up with what i've missed out and actually cried after taking the test. what's interesting is the revision today, lecturer went through the test questions and my friends realized that they had made a number of mistakes in the test, this also means that i have a higher chance of getting my answers right!! haha...

then came the night.

i thought it was a screwed up day today where i planned to go carmen's house but yet my uni friend needed accompaniment in sengkang since he's got some time to spare and isn't very sure about this place. so i did project work in school for quite some time when i thought it would only take a while. and then brought my friend to sengkang. my gor called to meet me at compass to do something that i wasn't informed of, it was a command that means i can't see carmen. carmen said i could have gotten a free entry to watch "titans" with the benefit from her dad and that she met liwei marcus and wai hong who are also watching the same show which i presume the same time slot. gosh, i felt so terrible hearing that man. this is the time where i was irritated with myself because i don't get to do what i wanna do if i wanna be some one good. it's like i started harboring this thought that it's my life and i should learn to live the way i want it, after all it's the only life i'm living.

after what happened tonight i can assure you that living a life that you desire is never a satisfaction and it'll only turn out to be a life wasted because it's heading to no particular direction without any purpose and reason.

although i have realised the opportunity lost to bond with my friends, something touching occurred. i met my bros after my friend left me for his other appointment. i was only in thought of dinner because i haven't eaten yet but gor brought me to metro and made me choose 2 very expensive bras for myself as a gift from him. he did this on the day when he received his pay from his work as he knows that i have very little of it and most are old, not my size any more, didn't want me to have a potential in getting breast cancer. you know, my mum don't do shopping with me with regards to this, that's why its touching that my gor cast aside his ego to shop with me and even bought me expensive goods on his pay day!

you see, you may be thinking its fortunate to have siblings in the family but not every siblings in a family behaves like this. and think about it, if i really went my way to do what i wanted, i would miss this precious time to bond with my bros and receive their love for me. in a larger scale, if i insisted in going along with my desires, i would have forgone all that surprises and blessings that every one else had prepared for me, wasting their effort as well.

some times, it's really not about what you want, it's what others want to bless you with that would make you appreciate life a little more. so receive and accept joyfully people reading this...

as for me, i don't wanna live a selfish life, i wanna dedicate this life into serving God and loving his people.

news!!

2010-03-29T00:35:00.004+08:00

i got my new flip flops yesterday at parkway!! haha.. so happy. so now, my feet won't stink because of my flip flops. yay

gosh, the executive committee post result will be out tomorrow and i'm like.. so anxious about it. wow.. haven't felt this for a long time but oh well, shall not hope for the best. i guess the basis of it is to avoid feeling disappointed i think.

just last 2 nights ago, went for the musical post production celebration where we review the musical once again and then karaoke session. after which a stupid movie called Frat Party and then some card games before going for bed. however, i didn't really get much sleep due to alcohol but oh well... had to wake up early the next day in order to be punctual for sunday service. gosh...

anyway, just days before this faithful day, had a gathering session with the old production committees and members. having supper and chat all the way till late, with that comes consequences where i almost got scolded by my parents. thankfully, it didn't happen.

happy thoughts

2010-03-25T11:34:00.002+08:00

Colossians 1:10-12

And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, (11) being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully (12) giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you[b] to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

just find it very comforting to know that those that follows God will be molded into christ-likeness and be ever happy and joyful. and the best blessing is the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom where our ancestors share the same as we are included in the family of God. =p this passage really make me happy

a beautiful yesterday makes totally boring today

2010-03-24T16:23:00.008+08:00

i sense that wai is getting real bored at home and needs to do some reading on people's life, so here it goes...

alright

"yesterday~ my life seems so far away... lalalalala oh i believe in yesterday..."

so yesterday, it was FREE CONE'S DAY!!! as usual, it's carmen and my routine to queue up for the ben & jerry's ice cream on this faithful event. but before that, gerald came to my house because he had nothing else to do and decided to "fetch me" to vivo where our never ending queue awaits us. it's ok that carmen had to go out with her mum so she's a little late for the whole queuing process. most importantly, she got 1 free cone!! well, i had 3 1/2 cones and gerald had 1 1/2 cones. wahahahaha!! i'm the ultimate winner!!!!

anyway, after that we went to watch 3d version and it's really good!! i like that show! think the night fury (aka toothless) is so cute!! i wanna watch again! haha

and what's up with today? it's just class in the morning then project discussion n it all finally ended in the afternoon. so here i am, typing my words in this post before i go to bed for a nap. gosh, life's just so dull... ok ok, maybe it's wrong for me to say my life is dull because i've got a lot of commitments already. =p think i wanna go out and have fun. real fun and games... any suggestions?

lopsided

2010-03-14T14:32:00.003+08:00

what a rare sight in singapore isn't it? this vehicle is heavily lopsided to the left and it just kept going and going on the road. sometimes, i wonder if we are at any one point like this truck too? being greedy in putting so much weight on our shoulders until the day we couldn't handle it anymore and subsequently break down?

yup, i must say i am like that. but i'm sure i'm not the only one, many singaporeans do that too because they just don't want to sacrifice another trip to and fro. i know my friends, i'm getting too much load on myself, but i'm lightening it already. theory exam is over just yesterday, i think i will have more chances in getting higher salary now. =p

birthday babies gathering cum lou hei

2010-02-25T17:20:00.002+08:00

1st table...

2nd table...

if you see double of the same person, i think you might have seen their ghost loitering around the other tables... haha

well, overall, i enjoyed the dinner together guys! think it's meaningful

most of all, thanks for helping out in making gerald's video work. =p

he appreciate it a lot a lot!! and i shall post his reaction in contrary to the video you guys did.

everything today is thoroughly...

2010-02-10T17:06:00.004+08:00

gosh.. i can't believe this but i'm actually missing the musical. all that catchy tunes and dancing acting... i don't know when will this opportunity come again. indeed i was whining a few weeks back about how this whole production is consuming my time, but i must say, there is no regret as to how the whole musical turn out. sadly... i couldn't get to meet those friends who came for this musical. still, i must thank gerald, carmen, marcus, liwei, waihong and my family for coming down to this show. i hope you guys didn't find it a waste of time.

here's kisses to all of you!! haha...

many inspiration quotes everyday!!

2010-01-29T10:45:00.003+08:00

i've been receiving inspirational quotes everyday for free as it's one of M1's services to brighten people's day. i thought it might be useful for people who actually reads my blog, i really appreciate it. therefore, some little quotes for all of you.. don't mind if i were to quote some from the bible too k? hee

only as high as i reach can i grow, only as far as i seek i can go, only as deep as i look i see, only as much as i dream can i be

- Karen Ravn

if your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader

- John Quincy Adams

dreams have only one owner at a time. that's why dreamers are lonely.

- Erma Bombeck

success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.

- Winston Churchill

really great people make you feel that you, too, can become great

- Mark Twain

shoot for the moon in all you do, even if you miss you'll land among the stars

- Brian Littrell

live as you were to die tomorrow. learn as if you were to live forever.

- Ghandi

true silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body. nourishment and refreshment.

- William Penn

when i dare to be powerful. to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether i am afraid

- Audre Lorde

if we are growing, we're always going to be out of our comfort zone

- John Maxwell

patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish

- John Quincy Adams

great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together

- Vincent Van Gogh

obstacles are those frightening things that become visible when we take our eyes off our goals

- Henry Ford

all difficult things have their origin in that which is easy, and great things in that which is small

- Lao-Tzu

speak when you are angry - and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret

- Dr. Laurence J. Peter

you can do it if you believe you can

- Napoleon Hill

beauty of whatever kind, in its supreme development, invariably excites the sensitive soul to tears

- Edgar Allen Poe

if you don't like something, change it. if you can't change it, change your attitude. don't complain

- Maya Angelou

boredom means that you do not appreciate what life has to offer

- Bryon Pulsifer

do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.

- Mother Teresa of Calcutta

you can adopt the attitude there is nothing you can do, or you can see the challenge as your call to action

- Catherine Pulsifer

age is not a matter of the physical condition of the body; it is more a matter of the condition of the mind

- Byron Pulsifer

focus is the ultimate power that can change the way we think, the way we feel, what we do in any moment. we change our lives

- T. Robbins

a man may fulfill the object of his existence by asking question he cannot answer, and attempting a task he cannot achieve

- Oliver Wendell Holmes

if we do the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves

- Thomas Edison

respect for self is the beginning of cultivating virtue in men and women

- Gordon B. Hinckley

when we complain, we remain. when we whine, we stay behind. when we praise, we raise.

- Jim Bakker

you can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.

- Zig Ziglar

the more you give of yourself, the more you will receive for yourself, your family and future

- Al Argo

progress s impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything

- George Bernard Shaw

people who don't take risks generally make about two mistakes a year. people who do take risks generally make about two big mistakes a year.

- Peter Drucker

an invincible determination can accomplish almost anything and in this lies the great distinction between great men and little men

- Thomas Fuller

be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those be well-tried before you give them your confidence

- George Washington

this is a world of action, and not moping and droning in

- Charles Dickens

he that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven

- Thomas Fuller

perhaps the very best question that you can memorize and repeat, over and over is, "what is the most valuable use of my time right now?"

- Brian Tracy

the secret to happiness is not in doing what one likes to do, but in liking what one has to do

- Anonymous

an idle brain is the devil's workshop

- English Proverb

as strong as my legs are, it is my mind that has made me a champion

- Michael Johnson

just as despair can come to one only from other human beings, hope, too, can be given to one only by other human beings

- Elie Weisel

again and again, the impossible problem is solved when we see that the problem is only a tough decision waiting to be made

- Rober H. Schuller

how a man plays a game shows something of his character, how he loses show all of it

- Anonymous

to live for results would be to sentence yourself to continuous frustration. my oly sure reward is in my action and not from them

- Hugh Prather

if you do not wish to be prone to anger, do not feed the habit; give it nothing which may tend to its increase

- Epictetus

great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds

- Albert Einstein

the greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one

- Elbert Hubbard

our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

to accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan,, but also believe

- Anatole France

we are far more liable to catch the vices than the virtues of our associates

- Denis Diderot

a good deed is never lost: he who sows courtesy reaps friendship; and he who plants kindness gathers love

- Basil

goals are fuel in the furnace of achievement

- Brian Tracy

the ability to concentrate and use your time well is everything if you want to succeed in business -- or almost anywhere else for that matter

- Lee Lacocca

one way to get the most out of life is to look upon it as an adventure. it requires us to take some risks and we can be well rewarded too

- William Feather

you are the handicap you must face. you are the one who must choose your place. the greatest handicap we all have is not realising our own potential

- James A.

the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams and they are committed to attaining them

- Eleanor Roosevelt

reheasals rehearsals rehearsals ~

2010-01-28T01:01:00.002+08:00

how interesting can this leopard of mine be? i think it's really awesome. i didn't know it can do such quirky pictures until a friend of mine from fpa showed me how its done. well, as you know, i am only using this leopard for projects now. most probably will be spending the holidays trying to know it inside out. for now, it's studies first.

i really think my friends are awesome to have planned and organized a party for me, or rather, chalet!! i really like chalet guys... i think it's some sort of a way for me to get out of all my worries and just enjoy the company. really, i need it. carmen can tell it all... i don't enjoy my life right now. especially when i made a grave mistake to continue the musical show when i could have just taken the audience seat instead. gosh, why am i so dumb?

what's getting back into me right now is the thought of starting to work again. my gor's company asked if i were to be coming back for work any time. i want to and would love to, so that i can save up for the taiwan vacation!! really, i will cry my tears dry for not leaving this country during the holidays. you know, all that stress managed to make me say "i don't wanna live any more" quite a number of times... and no, i'm not thinking of committing suicide but it's the intention of running away. i wanna run.. somewhere, anywhere... and to run, i need some cash to run away for a while..

confession of a workaholic

2010-01-14T11:02:00.004+08:00

time spent on watching television or playing games all by yourself is really not making life meaningful, especially for myself. i always thought that you only have one life to live, live it the way you want. and i just want so many things in my life that caused me to keep on doing something, neglecting my beauty rest. like proving everyone wrong that anyone can dance stylishly only if they had proper training, chilling out with friends when bonding, playing some sports together or even fishing is meaningful to do. the main thing is that, i don't want to waste my life away not doing anything useful, productive or meaningful. even more so when we say ' you only have one life to live in' because if you don't do what you want to do now, you'll regret it when you get older or the time when you start working…

perhaps my kind of purposeful life voice down to the very nature that i'm greedy. not greedy for money, not greedy for fame but greedy to do what others have the opportunity to do. and i'm still young so i don't wanna care about my limitations and do what i most desire to do. perhaps my phrase in life would be 'make full use of the time you have before your life expires' resulting me being busy majority of the time.

so why am i talking about this?

because... recently, i got involved with a musical in SIM that's going to be held on 6th feb'10. and just yesterday, i signed up for another CCA, hip hop dance club, that made me realize i will have to spent quite a lot of my time in school. that also means, too many commitments that possibly exhaust me physically and mentally. ya, think i'm crazy? i think i am too... i just want so many things... sigh.. not things but "things"...

oh yes, one other thing. wai, on behalf of PC people, bought me a pair of converse shoes!!! yes!!! n i get it, you guys had to stress it that it's CON-verse

cake!

2010-01-09T23:08:00.003+08:00

look!! i wanna have this cake as my b'day cake. can can can?

if you guys need to know the ingredients i can tell you.

its...

- jelly (the 55 cents one)

- strawberry

- cheese

- digestive biscuit for the crust

i tried it and it's tasty. was wondering if i can make it and ready to eat on my bday...

i suppose i know how to make it. just hope that i have the proper tools. =p

this sucks

2010-01-03T21:35:00.001+08:00

oh CRAP!! my B'day is coming...

this is not good...

Merry Xmas

2009-12-25T23:48:00.002+08:00

oh yes it's x'mas once again and yet i could still remember how i celebrated my previous x'mas in church last year. it's kinda different this year as i fell a little unwell due to the drastic change in weather. therefore, staying at home was the best option for my x'mas activity. sadly, nothing much to do at home, i was bored and so i pushed myself into shopping around nearby shops to get stuffs i need for the presents i'm making. this make me wonder how did all my friends celebrate their x'mas every year? i had been busy with church stuffs every year but not this year. kinda feel like it's just another holiday instead of how it used to imprint into my head that its a big big occasion. feels empty...

awesome notebook!

2009-12-05T22:30:00.003+08:00

wahahahaha... i have finally gotten a laptop and its slick in my context. although there were quite a number of feedbacks in the forum that is negative enough to make me doubt the durability of this Alec, i'm still bought over by its the capabilities.

it's been long since the last entry and yet i'm still clueless about what to post on my blog. i guess it'll take a while more for me to post another entry again.

TP. i miss tp days. come to think of it, although i'm not very involved with tp, i still miss the times where i can meet carmen just any time at her house. and of course not forgetting pc crews filling me with dota games when i'm too stressed up with my work. moreover, it feels good to be back in tp because you don't have the purpose to study there but to enjoy the company of friends you made. yet again, my holidays are filled with work. how exciting is that? i guess this is part of growing up in the society where you will start neglecting friends you once been closed to. annoying.

think brown eyed girls are cute

2009-09-25T09:40:00.000+08:00

hi blog

2009-09-20T21:06:00.004+08:00

i'm really sorry, i won't be around for some time now. suddenly, i just lost the reason and purpose to write any more.
until i find a reason to, i shall stay passive for now.

love,
author of this blog

photoshoot + dead sea scroll exhibition

2009-09-11T23:27:00.004+08:00

some pictures from the photoshoot

alright, that's it. more photos in facebook.

about the Dead Sea Scrolls exhibition,

i have yet to upload the pictures... =p

audition results

2009-09-10T20:55:00.002+08:00

n finally, i opened my email this morning and saw an email from the Performing Arts (P'Arts)
well, after all that trainning on the vocals, i thought my voice wasn't good enough for the musical.
i was wrong! i got in!! the next thing i gotta go for is the interview which they will update me about it soon. wow...
i think this is so exciting!! haha.. finally doing sth that's totally unexpected!

and then i'm also gonna try out mediacorp as their calefare. haha... just some things i always wanted to do before i grow even older... when i knew that mediacorp was looking for artists, couldnt resist to try out. perhaps i just wanna how far i can go in the performing industry. =p
just curious you know. but i never thought of living in the performing or entertainment industry anyway.

the AuditioN

2009-09-03T10:24:00.002+08:00

it was terrible!!! i'm glad that my music sense with all that preparation yesterday morning did help me pretty much.
i thought singing would be my problem so i had to practice and practice. yes it didnt became a problem during the audition. yay!!
however, my acting... my part... my role...
goodness i have been targeted and shot back by my weakness! that's why its terrible.
the judges gave me a role: you had a crush on a guy and you are too shy to confide it
it took me quite a while to think and process the feelings. apparently, it all came to a naught. i ended up 'copying' the very standard old fasion school girl idea that is to write a love letter confessing my feelings. sigh... it was... acted out without any feelings because i never encountered such feelings before. wahuhuhuhuh..
i think i did a very bad job cuz i dun understand the role. is like, on my mind i was constantly wondering why is there a need to hide? to be shy?
gosh...

musical audition is tmr!!!

2009-09-01T22:29:00.002+08:00

tmr is it!!! so scary and so exciting!! wow...
entering this musical audition took me a large step from my comfort zone to pursue what i really like to do
is this alright? that is the question i always ponder when i only think of what i want.
i always fear to decide on things that i want; involve in the things that i want, create and produce the things that i want. the biggest barrier is to question myself before i go all the way.
i ever did that decision once and i know i did it well when i was in sec 1. however, my path was being shattered by the lost hope of the continuity of the event and therefore, left.
thinking back now, is all worth it?
ya... it is worth it to let it be a good memory and to know that i have the capability. but its not worth it enough because i'll be leaving all that dreams and adventure behind.

right now, i'm going to grab it back and see if i really do have those quality once more.
to be able to sing and act is not the skill i was looking but instead it is the courage i always long for to stand in front of thousands and millions of people watching me perform. not forgetting the overly committed me to enjoy all that fellowship with my frens during the production preparations.
that was what i was breathing in when i acted in sec 1 for a musical concert as well as on tv.
what is it that i'm looking for right now?
i must say, i'm not aiming for a lead character. i just wanna know that there are people supportive of me acting. i love performing since young you know?
perhaps the skill that i wanna achieve is to be confident. self confidence; that i can do it as long as i know where i stand. and of course , get back in touch with feelings again...

unfortunately, gerald didnt think much of it nor do i wanna boast about it. he didnt even know the song i was preparing for on the day before the audition. not only was he ignorant about it, he didn't even offer any tips on singing... yet he knows that i have this audition to go. i would expect a lot of people to be shocked if i told them i'm working on a concert. don't really wan anyone to know cuz its really, nth. i guess its really nth, even to those that knows... however, i'm glad that at least my bro amos supports me by giving his thoughts and opinions when i sang to him. its already great enough...
i think, i hope...

going back to school

2009-08-28T11:33:00.005+08:00

finally i'm getting better now.
however, i have been getting sick real often this year. could it be gerald as the main source of all my illnesses since he's so prone to sickness? sigh... oh well, i'm happy i'm much better today, so i'm SOOOOOOOOO HAPpY

alright going back to school worries me because i have skipped 2 lessons alr.
you know that feeling of fearing you can't catch up with everyone? it sucks
so much that i wanna go back to school, yet afraid that its too much to handle since there's so little time. sigh again. this has gotta stop. i must not be LAZY

another thing is, all my friends around me are either driving or learning driving.

should i join in the gang as well? i know there'll e lots of benefits to it, however, i really fear accidents. i wonder why too.. should i learn? since i should have more time from school when i'm exempted from 2 modules! i just love that fact.

another worry would be with regards to campus cell. apparently, not everyone is committed to it. as i have suspected, the sense of belonging is not there, thus people don't feel like attending since they are 'not needed' to. i need to assign responsibilities as its tough for me, alone, to handle the coordinations as well as the duties. i need help... i need real help.

some really interesting mtv

2009-08-26T11:57:00.003+08:00

you guys really gotta watch this mtv man...
start off with this one 1st

don't you think tt's sexy?
and now. how bout this...

i like the guy in shades
and i like the one of the gal's hairstyle, i mean the main actress of the video.. short enough

one more test to go...

2009-08-14T09:24:00.008+08:00

gosh, last night's test was terrible. i really got confused when it comes to goodwill in balance sheet. but i knew it was suppose to be placed under fixed assets yet the balance sheet cannot balance. so i decided to leave that entry out. i wonder what would happen man. there's a possibility that i might fail for such a simple paper reason being is that i totally forgot my points during the test!! sucks...

anyway, as promised.. i'll post the pictures of condos and bungalows in sentosa cove

just some random shots.. and to prove that i'm in sentosa, just takt a look at all those dinosaurs behind some bungalows

apparently, this architect likes artifacts be placed around the place and in every small area of a few bungalows, he would decorate the place with a certain theme he chose. for this, its stone age... cool ah?

this is the stone age pathway for cars to drive around

a normal pathway for cars

i dunno where this is but there's a yacht

just some random condo that i saw on the way to the condo dad was fetching me

looking at this building makes me feel like im in some other foreign countries already

yachts!!!!

see see, got yachts

the bridge over to the condo... you can see some yachts

well, this is the view from the living room balcony of a condo

daddy and me!

at the side of the pathway, you see the beach!!

too bad you cant do anything there but to watch and admire the scenery

a swimming pool!! so cool right?

i think its so going to be pretty once its done with the other small renovations

this is the pathway when you walk out of the condo living room..

junior rooms

can you see the yacht?

this is how it looks like from the other rooms that's situated direclty opposite from the living room and the master bedroom

the very common toilet

this is the 2nd part kitchen where you can cook all that oily food without having to oil your precious living room floor. apparently, the bombshelter is just next to it... odd

the very clean kitchen with pretty cool features there

the living as always big eough to fit almost everything

looking outwards to the bath tub direction...

inside the toilet lookin in from the bath tub

here you see the toilet from the master bed room

if you look properly, it's got glass wall all around it. can you believe that?

this is how it looks like outside the living room where the balcony is

i'm going for a party stayover... i think

2009-08-07T09:27:00.005+08:00

yay!!! (marcus u see that?)

its YAY!!!

i cant't believe its only... 2 days away and i wonder if its alright for me to bring baby carrots for the potluck dinner... so fun!!

i still think gerald looks like a gal... right?

anyway, although getting exempted means no project for me but i still got other modules stest coming up! so crazy!! now i remembered why i didn't wanna go into business in tp cuz i suck at it. sigh... the upcoming test is accounting and i already found it confusing. our 1st SIM test accounting will be held on thursday night at 7pm. it is so late as SIM has part-time students as well. so, kinda no choice thing..

movies i wanna watch: The Proposal, Gamer, Harry Potter, GI Joe, Orphan, Up

new blogskin!!!

2009-08-06T11:15:00.002+08:00

i have finally changed my blogskin for countless times people tried to persuade me, or convince me that my previous blogskin wasn't friendly enough.
oh well, i hope this one is friendly enough for my audience now... no?

alright, SIM just sucks when it comes to admin. apparently, their are so screwed up and slow to exempt me from a module i ever did in TP before, they only called me 2 days before the proj submission dateline. can you believe it? i was so pissed yet happy at the same time for getting exempted. so right now, after throwing all that time to make my project workout, i really wonder what kind of grades will i get. in a way, i just wasted all the opportunities i could have to dota in TP.

WHAT A WASTE AH!!!

poor blog

2009-07-17T09:15:00.003+08:00

oh gosh, i can't believe i haven't blogged for almost a month!! haha..
well, i guess i could blame it on facebook games and school because this is all i mainly do on weekdays
ya know, it took me 2 hrs to reach sch by bus but 1 hr by train! i figured that train is much better although its slightly more expensive... haha
whichever it is, i would spend a total of 5 hrs for school and it sucks because that's almost half of the day.
for that, playing facebook was the next routine after school that i spent the whole night playing once i reached home =.=
hehe... dunno y but i suppose i just dun wanna study

my family got locked outside our house

2009-06-24T13:28:00.002+08:00

just last sunday 21st june 2009
my family booked me for dinner since its Fathers' Day. well, my parents invited gerald along as well and we headed down to hougang green for zhi cha.
it was great family bonding even till we head back our home, we realised no one has the keys.
what we did? i bet you can guess it right
we tried to get our keys fromt he inside wince we know where we placed our keys
it was hilarious because of the whole set up. my parents were laughing at the back while the rst of us were reaching out for the keys.. haha... the scene was just retarded but too bad i didnt take any pics of it

updates for the past 2 wks

2009-06-08T16:19:00.005+08:00

was talking to lionel online on 5th june friday. the day when i was due for a family dinner in cathay astons. as you know, you gotta queue for nearly 2 hrs to get in there. and apparently, lionel knows all about it and drew me this illustration of the queue with the aston door there. its so exxagerated and retarded lo. whichever it is, i was totally dreading that to queue after my work. because i'll be queueing alone onece again. how sucky is that man...

was going out for movie with this guys on 3rd june wed. the show is awesome!! i think it's so funny man.. anyways, 3 words: fun fun fun!!!

and we went to the new building at orchard to check it out whats there to browse. sadly, most shops were still under renovation so there wasn't much to see. what a waste isn't it? =p oh well, at least we didnt waste the time loitering the shop, we started camwhoring at the 7 storey high escalator!!! hahaha.... scary ya know?

ok, we were walking around this new building at bugis on last tues. think it was the 2nd june. yup... so glad to meet carmen for dinner cuz i miss her pretty badly. and also, i just felt that it's lifeless working so much without having some fun at times. so i decided to do some pampering of myself as well. hee...

there was this one day that i was busy doing my job at work and then i decided to play a lil of facebook games. so i clicked restaurant city and find myself staring at gerald's character instead of the loading page. so i thought there was some error occuring and refreshed the page. but this pic kept appearing.. weird right. i contacted gerald about it and finally, finally entered the game. haha... weird, so weird

was walking around dhoby ghaut ps with my gor and found this shoes that i thought gerald might need them in cases of some occasions he gotta attend. as ya know, his shoes looks awful and it stinks crazily. so, since there's gss, might as well get it right? infact i thought it suited wai too. and at least i thought wai's fashion taste is better than gerald's

this is that fat baby we once called too pampered and was too fat for its own good. ya.. you can guess it. it's eileen's son and i kinda forgot his name for now.. don't know why.. =p

this is all taken to update cui on what has been going on in church. and i remembered about this fat baby that got me video-ed a short clip for you to see how playful he is now. haha...

2009-05-29T10:34:00.004+08:00

H1N1 video

boarding video

sars video remember?

2009-05-26T20:43:00.002+08:00

Fever at 38.1 degrees celsius

i

2009-05-21T09:44:00.001+08:00

DEPLETED

poly graduation day 2009

2009-05-20T13:27:00.005+08:00

oops just wanna say that my mum bought me heels!! haha

this is how it looks like when i wore it
alright back to the topic.

just before the grad ceremony, i was playing around with my gown. ok, wrong...
my frens were playing around with my gown as u can below

wai looks like a wizzard man

i dunno gerald's

n here's liwei!! but a bit over-sized for her

ohhh... n MR Rafi... (is this how u spell his name?)

oh, n the gal that sat right at my left talking to me during the whole session of boring talks =p

and i found out that she's my classmate's gf!!! what a small world

oh... n this yong sheng was totally ignoring me for picture-taking as he was bz talking on the phone. idiot!.... well... wat else can i say

n i found chou kin in the midst of the crowd!! so weird but at least i cease the moment to take pictures with her

n here's eddie. i think he's quite cute.. haha

n most of all.. CARMEN!!!

some introduction here, this is Mr Yeo T. Chye sandwiched by carmen and me... i called him down from his office to take photos with him.. haha
he's my supervisor for my SIP =p

n family photo!!!

as promised...

2009-05-15T23:16:00.007+08:00

this dress kinda make me look old right??

argh...

was trying out some dresses on one particular tiring day at compass point while talking to cui on the phone. here's the result of funny facial expressions...

and then i realised there are more dresses to try on since im quite fixed at the idea of getting a dress that day.

n then i found this dress.. yes i agree its pretty. so i bought it loh.. =p

there was this day where i went out with darrell to eat at prive. man... i remembered i got so bloated after eating only banana walnut cake and peanut butter choc cake. really, it's a session of high tea with him. =p and felix gave me 30% discount ya noe? gave me free milkshake and ice lemon tea too!! wow.. awesome time over there.... after which, i was boasting to darrell about some places i recently explored with carmen and agnes that looked really romantic.. don't believe me? judge for yourself!

this is the waters surrounding prive and there you see windvane.. cool design right?

here's just some random photography that i tot was nice. just that this camera refuse to forcus more, so this picture is kinda blurred at the item i wanna concentrate on...

n flowers flowers!!

pretty right? my masterpiece

tada!!!

well, darrell thought the view was alright and he showed me some other areas he thought looks romantic to him..

sorry... just randoming again. i thought this picture looks like its taken in london.. but i guess the flats kinda gave it away... bleah

i guess this is quite a popular place to be right?

just that i forgot the name of this bridge again!

ya.. it's a bridge alright.

so sad...

2009-05-06T21:24:00.002+08:00

ahhhhhhhhh... i feel so sad
had been keeping things to myself lately to see it grow to be such a large matter to me now..
i'm feeling more sad than i thought i was.
why???
im not having PMS becuz my period is over.
my dad made me apply for SIM just in case i couldn' get in to NTU
apparently, i received a response from NUS which i didn't even manage to complete that application.
NUS just thank me for choosing them as my 1st choice (which i didnt) in that email
wonder what's going on but oh well, i'm still waiting for NTU to return their results
and because i really don't wanna go SIM, i just felt totally terrible. as in terribly sad...
obeyed my parents into applying SIM which i am pretty sure i'll get in, and knows that i can't place my music as my mainstream... ahhhhhhhh.. (felt like crying after typing here..)
if you've heard all my audio composition, i'm pretty sure you can tell i've got a style of my own
just that it's still raw and needs toning on the method of using instruments
when i thought i could be free from the bondage of this book-intelligent society, i was wrong.
being dragged down by my dad..
just felt so stucked down..
and because of OBEDIENCE
im swallowing this bitter pill to go my parent's way
at first, i thought this unhappiness won't last a day or two
i was wrong when i seek gerald to help me out in cheering up
carmen just didn't say much about it, instead, continued to talk to me about not entering uni and stuff
so all in all, it didn't work. i'm still awfully feeling miserable.
and i can see how deep this bitterness is going by gauging how much i've spent my money on things that are needless to me...
gosh.. really, it's gotta stop

just yesterday...

2009-04-14T10:09:00.012+08:00

there was this workshop conducted by XX and daven in school and surprisingly, i attended. but i must say i have learnt to suit up the system with wires!! haha its great to get extra knowledge but i think i might just forget. oops

anyways, here are some videos taken yesterday with regards to shy wai and XX bday.
just to fill you in, shy wai had a crush on somebody and saw her in the same place as him yesterday. well, we managed to make him talk to her and he got all this shy. watch..

and then we continued to 'pester' him

and then part III

wow... and it goes on to part IV

n lastly part V

n then we head out to fish & co. for dinner!

FISH & CO.

girlfriends

2009-04-11T14:12:00.004+08:00

lately, i met up with my girlfriends in compass point.

its was really great to meet them again. really.

realized that they r still the same people i used to know in sjc

glad that they may have changed in appearance but not their character

at least now i know i still have girl friends around... ya..

very important!! i need girl friends, those that can share problems with..

wahuhuhuhuh... =p

its carmen and me over here

how pretty is our smile manz...

that's miao miao and xiuhui

we have finally met up after 3 years manz.. that's long

alright, we shall go on to individual picture taking

our 1st contestant is xiuhui

2nd is miao miao

3rd is carmen

and last is constance!! - the tired 1

and together, we r F4

4 Females.. haha

just crapping again

just yesterday, waihng gerald and me went to carmen's house for some lappy fun

finally dota-ed once again

and also receiving presents from carmen!!

haha.. these are the figurines bought from japan. i got kakashi

the other guys too sasuke

notice there're 2 sasuke right?

ya.. both of them are bullying me in some ways

poor kakashi~

some videos i took

2009-04-11T12:08:00.009+08:00

i guess the videos are a bit outdated or repeated from daven's blog
but oh well, im still going to post it anyways

warning! it's gonna be a boring one because i couldn't edit this video due to the abnormal file
and also, media creator also rejects this file type...
so.. no choice right? i shall bore u guys with it..

and then comes the 2nd part of it...

n yes.. that's all for Marcus's bday celebration
here comes gerald's 1!!
ok, its repeated from daven's blog but still it's from my view

wat a marvelous torture right? hahaha..
anyway, in case u thought that i was the one who planned this water balloon in his under pants thing
u r so wrong! marcus was the one who suggested it and also prepared the balloons
see, i m not so evil afterall u noe? haha.. =p

yup, its was done after sending cui off to brisbane
ok. time for some fun stuffs that wai and gordon had introduced during gerald's bday
this is the flying green noodle, or so they called it

retarded right?

guess i got killed laughing at this video
great job wai... =p

haha.. n that is waihong with his green noodle mouth talking n kissing
hope you guys won't think freaky of him..
haha..

big miracle!!!

2009-04-10T00:28:00.002+08:00

it's so amazing that i was pretty down lately due to the sunday incident where i was late for service n screwed up the worship in 1st n 5th service. basically, that sunday didn't go well either because everyone was tlking about how badly i played for worship and stuff. i couldnt help it but to cry that day because i was upset with myself for being so careless... thank God i had Daven and and ZhongTao to be there listening to all my crap that day. thank u brothers in christ. well, apparently a pastor asked me directly as to why i stopped playing for a particular piece. the reason is obvious.. for 1, i heard them singing at the wrong key even after i intro, so i thought it was the wrong version of the song. for 2, even if i were to play melody, no one would be following. for 3, if i continued playing, it'll sound like noise. isnt that worse? so afterwhich he concluded on his own that there must be practice before worship. i was like "whatever" in my mind because he doesn't know the depth of the problem at all.

so today, my day got better in the afternoon since i was meeting up with my sjc girlfriends at compass point. when its time to play for service, i screwed up again.. tears rolled down from my eyes as i continued playing for worship. i guess its " the show muz go on" .. i was feeling really terrible that i couldn't wait for service to end and run off from the building.

apparently. after service, i great news came about! i passed my grade 8 exam!! can u see that i was brought down by the music these few days and God used music to cheer me up? how cool isnt it? i knew i did very badly for this exam and was already expecting a fail.. however, i clinged on to the hope that i would put in effort and God will do the wonders. i believe, i've poven my God is awesome to me!!

n it is time...

2009-04-07T11:28:00.003+08:00

this is the moment i have been waiting for

carmen is back in singapore!!

woohoo~ how's tt?

at least i noe i wont look like this

for the rest of the days now... how boring isnt it?
ya.. especially with my hands at my chin in front of the computer where my eyes are fixed on
i suppose i need a fresh air outside, away from mafia and restaurant city... =p

by the way, this is kai kai's kiss for all of u! haha

isnt he sweet? think he's so cute!

he's really got lots of weird patterns that does melts the heart of many who sees him

its just sad that he doesn't like my bro justin

no idea why but every sight of him would make kai kai cry..

oh well, at least he sticks to me like glue today and i'm happy with it

grade 8 exam experience + wk update!!

2009-03-29T17:58:00.004+08:00

basically, there was a TPCO concert on friday night n i was there to give them my support by offering my service as production crew member

n yes i kinda screw up quite a lot back there..

i placed the seats wrongly.. adjusted the music stands in front of the audience which squeaked

n moousse wai drew me my name on my bottle!!

n becuz we were afraid to make any more mistakes.. we examine the floor plan once again with great pressure

oh ya.. i forgot to introduce...

in the middle, tt's my ex TPCO cello teacher
e other guy would be my cello senior hu likes to play for performance

i can finally blog sth today... but only for a while since my bro wanna dota with me, y not? haha..
anyways, exam was terrible!! how say?
1st i went in to the room b4 my actual time slot
2nd i wasnt prepare n got super nervous
3rd i played 3 totally wrong scales
4th i made slips n pauses in my 2 pieces
5th i sight-read slowly, too slow in fact
6th i tot for the aural answer n the examiner went on with the next section
7th i dun like tt examiner

so ya... those r the few thinks i really tot i did badly for this grade
wahuhuhuhuh.. tt lady isnt nice at all.. dun like
however, i do hope i could scrape tru it at least
even if i wanna get a distinction for it, im hoping to do it again at my leisure only if im working

the coming of grade 8 piano exam!!

2009-03-24T22:14:00.002+08:00

alright, in another 13hrs 33mins, i'll be taking my piano exam!!

so scary!! i wonder y m i so anxious this time round.

is it becuz i noe i either die failing or rejoice passing this exam

cuz if i were to retake it, i'll be wasting time n money!!

wahuhuhuhuhuhuh.. so scary

testing

2009-03-23T11:48:00.001+08:00

1 2 3

alright. bascially, i noe my blog is experiencing some probs n i cant seem to solve it.
so since i cant solve it, i might as well get on with it right? haha...

i duno y but i've been painting.. i guess i was hoping to finish up the paints i got for feb babies
needed the paints for their gifts tt's y
if i can get a pic of it, i'll post it here k?
its really nth fantastic due to the lack of colors but oh well, its still.. erm nice?

my piano exam will be conducted in 2 days time..

2 days!!! let me count the hours...

its exactly 48hrs away!!! oh my goodness..

wahuhuhuhuhuhuh...

blogging~ wahuhuhuh...

2009-03-13T11:16:00.004+08:00

yes yes, u guys muz be wondering if i ever have parallex error in taking photos of scenery
truth is, i wasnt even aiming at anything n just took a pic above the surface of the water
ya noe, i was really scared tt my phone would fall off my hand n into the pond! haha..
thankfully it didnt.
n this was all taken on the day when we were preparing for the video shoot

just grabbed a sight on a flower growing beside the pond
looks kinda cool cuz its all alone right there on the field n it stands out pretty much
alright, i guess im wasting ur time reading all this crappy stuff tt i find it amusing
its just too bad i couldnt get my phone to focus right on this flower cuz im still not used to the phone im using right now.. havent really get the picture capturing skills yet...
still finding out how tough

so wats with christine n jane in my post u ask?
well, we had chalet the other day... it was on the 10th march 09 tuesday
yup, its quite a disspointment though cuz those happening ppl r working their ass off to night
until they reached the chalet, they got real tired n wasnt high during the night
amazingly, this chalet was alcohol-free!! n i realy cant believe it man..
its not tt they dun want it , rather no 1 tot of buying a bottle.. so.. ya loh..
sianzed

n tt's pala doin his thing on the bbq pit
havent seen him for a long time man.. kinda missed him
n also, he brought his gf along too! just tt i forgot her name n a pic of her

n yes u see this ah peh over there?
he is mr johnson right there... the 'father' of prive part time staffs

cui called!!!

2009-03-05T16:36:00.002+08:00

cui called!!! haha.. didnt noe its cheaper for her to make overseas call than to make local calls in aust. interesting policy. think shouldnt change tt at least not now when cui is there.. haha
anyway, just when she called, all the questions i wanted to ask her was all jumbled up n i presume i ended blabbering nonsense in the end. so... although she's answered some of my questions on the phone, i still do have some other questions... so to orgainse myself, i decided to... state my questions here.. just in case she were to call again, i can better prepare myself. =p

questions:
#1 - have u fallen off ur bed over there?
#2 - r the clothes cheap over there?
#3 - any1 hit on u yet?
#4 - r the food portionings bigger than germany's?
#5 - how's ur sch schedule like?
#6 - saw any eye candy yet?
#7 - got miss me alot? this is a very important question k!
#8 - r their lectures like singapore's?
#9 - happy over there so far?
#10 - got reply my email??

ok... wat sex brain r u??

2009-03-02T17:44:00.002+08:00

hey peeps.. here's the rule
- do the survey
- copy n paste the result in ur post
- tag ppl u want

wat sex brain r u?

imodelsinternational.com + RISK

2009-02-26T10:24:00.004+08:00

ok.. n so i have gone for the interview yesterday

how was it??

hhrmm....

as usual, simliar to other companies, they would help u do up a portfolio n upsell u in the market

portfolio is a basic n u get to choose the no. of outfits to take from

it's price varies so cant really say much

make-up n outfits r all provided by the company

but at least i noe this company is quite recognised by govt companies such as singtel, starhub, mediacorp... etc

n i was discussing with my bro abt this

he was saying tt its more worth it for me to try acting instead of modelling cuz u may nv no when will u get the project since every starter will be a freelance

hmm..

aiya... dun wanna go for it lah...

very lazy...

RISK

oh yeah.. finally get to play it

n here we r at daven's house playing risk on a mahjong table

how weird right? mahjong table?

well, perhaps the earth is surrounded by green green land with a squarish booundary n few wooden drawers.. haha

it may not be for the real world lah.. but for the world we r conquering, it seemed so

alright, tt's the formation of wai's troops

dunno y its all in a straightline

n tt's mine!! white... so pure!!

n tt's daven's

nice right? i really think so..

but i dun think i have tt much patience to form them in this manner... think all my troops will just collapse like dominoes..

n finally... ben's

apparently gerald's wasnt taken.. i think its cuz he was bz blessing all the solders n players with his wise words n showers of blessing tt he didnt have time to form his troops

but oh well, i think most of the troops were awaken by his speech due to his saliva..

haha

今天不回家

2009-02-24T18:39:00.004+08:00

wahuhuhuh... im currently here using carmen's apple computer playing mafia on facebook.

right here right now, im abt to spam my tots while carmen slps as a host..

she left me all alone in a cold room using her come which im totally not familiar with while she slps soundly on her bed...

wahuhuh.. im super bored... grabbing hu ever is online to tok to me..

one more thing

an international modelling company has approached me to be their model for advertisements

they just called me like few mins ago nto requiring any portfolio or watsoever

their goal is to get people to help promote other companies by posting their models on advertisements

another words, they r like supply chain management. instead or managing goods n sourcing suppliers, they r sourcing for ppl on the streets n other areas n managing the models

so ya.. will be meeting them tmr

while typing this, carmen awaken n is feeding me udon!! hahaha

n yes we have spent the whole afternoon playing mafia n pet societyn of cuz the great carmen shredded her uni brochure into this very beautiful aft piece
all done with a pair of scissors lying around her table.
n gosh she thinks its fun to shred papers... scary

oh oh n this art is done by johnson in prive

an attempt to draw tracy with long hair... in this case, plaided hair

haha.. quite cute eh? =p

daddy's bday

2009-02-23T10:37:00.004+08:00

yesterday wasnt my day at all..

glad to be early for service yesterday n played to my best for worship

however, i kinda got sick during service n later on i realised its flu

so i head home to rest after sunday sch classes

just as i waited for bus 10, it took abt 45mins to arrive, the weather kept drizzling

i was freezing when i got on the bus... but its ok, i slept abt there

then after alighting, its still drizzling!

bus 27 came without a seat for me to sleep on.

its ok, i stood n slept. n i really slept! for the 1st time i sleep standing up

u see, when i got to deep into my slp, my knees got weak like it kinda turned off from working

n i almost fell in the bus... wah.. so malu lah..

nvm.. then i alighted at sengkang n realised i just missed my bus 372 becuz it was in front of 27 n it didnt stop for me

wahuhuh.. n it was still drizzling..

as u noe, i got terribly sick in the night...so it sucks..

all tt displeasure was lost to the nights dinner where we once again bbq steak at our house

ya noe wat? it taste really good!! wahahha

though i couldnt enjoy it peacefully cuz of all tt sniffing

still, the spaghetti n steak just rule it all

so u may ask wats the occasion..

my dad's bday!!

yup, tt's my steak there..

maybe i shall try moose meat as well

ya.. one day.. wai beware u might just end up at our pit

gerald's bday

2009-02-18T09:56:00.007+08:00

14th feb 09

Saturday

its valentines day n i shared it with wai gerald n carmen at yichen's sch funfair held at cedar girls sch.

was there at noon to have my hair sprayed green, drink n drink. n we didnt play games...

so wasted

anyway, went for youth service after tt n then to gerald's grandma's place for his pre-bday celebration.

n here it is..

his cake

gerald n me

gerald n me with a moose at his side

gerald's cousins

gerald's family

okok.. so we go on to his actual birth day.

1st thing in the morning, we smashed his face with 3 plates of whip cream

n then walked to ehub for grocery shopping

ok, this is a bit retarded as the guys decided to look top right n left while they walked. n ya..

it is all being expressed in the pic above.

sadly, benOh was blocked by gerald's big head...

back to gerald's place, gerald's mum seeked help from the guys to drill holes into the toilet walls

while at it, wai n daven decided to camwhore a bit.

its really lame as u can see...

n the fact tt wai is trying to look cool with a drill n a vaccum cleaner made it more hilarious with his facial expression

n here u see wai with a drill trying to look like 007

n again

n daven camwhoring too...

n yes yes... u see liwei with her 'grin grin' smile

daven performing his artyfarty canvas spread

the vandalism on gerald's back by the 'teen titans' + every1's names

n we concluded its happy day for gerald's

n ya noe the pot of roses i got for gerald last yr? tt rose bush died...

n then we tried to plant a weed tt looked quite like a rose..

it died too..

so gerald n i kinda left the pot to rot outside his house

however, few months later..

this clover started to grow!!

so amazing right? i'll just wait for it to grow a four leaf clover

by the way, check out the mom song

thx every1

2009-02-17T00:39:00.002+08:00

this is going out to ppl hu managed to attend gerald's bday celebration n cui

just wanna thank u guys for making gerald's bday possible and wonderful as u can see from his face.

u guys helped me in a lot of ways to express his importance in every 1 of us..

well, even though some may not be very close to gerald now, still, ur contribution is greatly appreciated and im sure he'll treasure it... right kookoo?

thank u for making such an effort to come down n join him in his very budgeted celebration

sorry to have caused confusion in the planning due to certain reasons...

but hey, every1 enjoyed urself right? or at least i hope..

alright, so all ur best to the upcoming exams in tp!! jia you!!

to cui, thank u for waiting tt one last bit of time for me to arrive

i didnt expect things to drag n yes i felt horrible before n after u left

there's just so many things to say n i guess i nv did manage to complete a letter for u in time

thank u for those big hugs as i really needed it pretty much

hope to hear from u soon..

maybe u can scan ur schedules for ur frens so tt we noe when to call u up or go online

tt will be helpful for a forgetful person like me

last day of sch

2009-02-12T11:37:00.002+08:00

oh yes.. its the last day of sch n im here blogging!!
how boring is tt? oh well, waiting for carmen to finish up watever she has to do today so tt we can....... we can play!!!

currently listening to my ipod on my blog

the song played is

titled: el tango

by: moulin rouge

really love tt song cuz it can actually express the feeling of the character in the show

n especially with the accompaniment of the instruments n lyrics

wow... i salute the composer who's so 'dangerous' as wat i would describe him

the anxiety done by the viola on the constant pace n note

n the sexy, elegant yet crying tone from the violin

the manly, majestic yet solemn sounding of the bass

the dancing style of the plucked guitar

and of cuz the wisely chosen singers... fantastic!!

it really broadcast the dynamics, emotions and volume of the whole plot

fearful day

2009-02-09T23:55:00.002+08:00

i had a nightmare last night

dun think i wanna repeat the story but it was abt sth tt i hav feared for the longest time
n if u noe me well enough, u shud noe wat it is
apparently its still around to haunt me in the night
n especially when tv shows arent helping much by broadcasting the scenes in different shows n i happen to chance upon it, im actually getting quite disturbed right now
kinda get paranoid at night
i noe God will calm me down if i choose to believe
but wat i fear is e darkness of man tt had caused them to fall time n time again
the kind of lust, desire, desperation, losing control, the greed, the thirst for satisfaction, the inconsideration
how ... scary...
i confess i once hated man.. but wat can i say when im a human myself?
God is the creator of all creation n if i were to despise n dislike man, doesnt tt mean i dislike myself , n doesnt tt indirectly hate God?
no... im not taking charge of my life, moreover i cant judge any1 as they r sinful, so m i
but because i recognise this darkness by nature
i fear it'll actually happen, how man satisfy their emptiness by all means but from their human nature
they will forever be thirsty for more
i fear tt darkness.. the nv ending thirst of man
it can become so desperately desperate

funny

2009-02-09T00:24:00.002+08:00

funny clip

our lyrics

2009-02-07T14:43:00.004+08:00

dun u noe its hard to say u dun mean a thing
just to brush away the glances of ur face
dun u noe it hurts me just as bad as it is to u

dun u noe it pains me when u dun meet my eyes
all the times when our problems arise
but this feeling doesn't stop me from caring for u... yeah

missing u..
of the times..
tt we've been
together in everything tt we did
just tell it to me
wat u mean of our love tt is true

thinking back on our times
be it happy or sad
i'll be by ur side every moment
holding on tightly to u
just to see a smile across ur face
it'll tell me our love is true

every moment tt i spent with u
i would wish that i could freeze the time
every touch tt i feel of u
be it a kiss or a hug
it will always stay in my mind coz its u

coming back to us now
certain things might have changed
but it doesnt matter
i'll still be by ur side every moment
holding on tightly to u
still to see a smile across ur face
with our love we can create happiness .. oh.. oh

i'll be by ur side every moment
holding on tighter to u
this time to sing of my heartfelt words
saying sincerely i love u....
oo.. i love u

wai's bday celebration

2009-02-02T22:31:00.005+08:00

celebrated wai's bday with his all-so-famous master plan
haha... bet he didnt expect his plan to backfire on him
anyways, here's the video of him getting SMASHED

my brain sux....

2009-01-29T20:10:00.001+08:00

The scale below is an indication of where you fall in the male-female brain continuum. The results are based on the angles, spot the difference, 3D shapes and words tasks. Bear in mind that your performance may be affected by many factors in addition to gender, like age and intelligence.

Your personal brain score:

Average score for MEN who've taken this survey:

Average score for WOMEN who've taken this survey:

If you are using a public PC we strongly advise you to print out and delete your results if you do not want anyone to see them.

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	Part 1

	Angles
	This task tested your ability to identify the angle of a line by matching it with its twin. This is a spatial task, which looks at how you picture space. Your score: 13 out of 20 Average score for men: 15.1 out of 20 Average score for women: 13.3 out of 20 What does your result suggest? If you scored 0 - 12: You have more of a female brain. Scientists believe that people with a female brain find it more difficult to judge the slope of a line because they're not wired for spatial tasks. In past studies, 65 per cent of people who scored in this range were women. If you scored 13 - 17: You found this test neither hard nor easy. This suggests your brain has male and female traits when it comes to spatial ability. If you scored 18 - 20: You have more of a male brain. On average, men outperform women in this task and those with more mathematical knowledge tend to score quite high as well. In past studies, 60 per cent of the people in this range were men. Interestingly, men's testosterone levels fluctuate through the seasons and studies have shown that men's scores are lower in the spring, when their testosterone levels are at their lowest. Do our cave dwelling ancestors offer us any clues about why men and women score differently on this task? Find out more.
	Spot the difference
	This task tested your ability to identify which objects changed position. You lost points, if you incorrectly identified objects. Your score: 36% Average score for men: 39% Average score for women: 46% What does your score suggest? If you scored between 0 - 33%: You may have more of a male brain. Scientists say men tend to under perform in this task. The corpus callosum, the part of the brain that links the right and left hemispheres, is a fifth larger in women. This means women can process visual and other signals at the same time more easily than men. There is also a theory that oestrogen levels in women give them an added advantage in spatial memory. If you scored between 34 - 66%: You may have a balanced female-male brain. If you scored between 67 - 100%: Those with a female-type brain generally score in this range. Your ability to remember where objects are may serve as an advantage to you when you're trying to find your way around places. You're more capable of recalling landmarks to get from one place to another. Find out more about our spatial abilities.

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	Part 2

Hands

You said your left thumb was on top when you clasped your hands together.

Right thumb on top: This suggests the left half of your brain is dominant. Many studies have tried to establish whether there is a relationship between handedness and brain dominance. Some scientists believe that if you are left brain dominant, you would be more verbal and analytical.

Left thumb on top: This suggests the right half of your brain is dominant. Some studies theorise that as a right brain dominant person, you may excel in visual, spatial and intuitive processes.

However, these theories are debatable and leave much to be said about the small percentage of people who are ambidextrous.

Find out why right-brained people may be better fighters and artists.

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	Part 3

Emotions and Systems

This task looked at whether you prefer to empathise or systemise.

Empathising

Your empathy score is: 10 out of 20
Average score for men: 7.9 out of 20
Average score for women: 10.6 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

Empathisers are better at accurately judging other people's emotions and responding appropriately. If you scored 15 and above, you are very empathic and would be an ideal person to comfort people in a time of crisis. Women in general are better at empathising.

Systemising

Your systemising score is: 4 out of 20
Average score for men: 12.5 out of 20
Average score for women: 8.0 out of 20

What does your result suggest?

Systemisers prefer to investigate how systems work. A system can be a road map, flat pack furniture, or a mathematical equation – anything that follows a set of rules. A score of 15 and above suggests you're good at analysing or building systems. Men in general are better at systemising.

Scientists are keen to learn more about people who score high or low on both tests. They want to find out whether or not empathising and systemising are linked. Is a possible to make yourself more empathic?

Some scientists claim that our empathy and systemising abilities can be traced all the way back to prehistoric times. Find out more.

Eyes

This task tested your ability to judge people's emotions.

Your score: 7 out of 10
Average score for men: 6.6 out of 10
Average score for women: 6.6 out of 10

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 3: Do you think you're good at judging how another person is feeling? Your score suggests this doesn't come to you quite so naturally.

If you scored 4 - 6: Your result suggests you have a balanced female-male brain and find it neither easy nor difficult to judge people's emotions.

If you scored 7 - 10: Your result suggests you are a good empathiser, sensitive to other people's emotions. Women generally fall into this category.

Professor Baron-Cohen at the University of Cambridge says that people usually perform better than they expect to on this test.

Men often think a person's eyes are sending signals of desire when that's not the case at all. Find out more.

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	Part 4

Fingers

We asked you to measure your ring and index fingers. Your ratios came to:

Right Hand: 1
Left Hand: 1

Average ratio for men: 0.982
Average ratio for women: 0.991

It's thought that your ratio is governed by the amount of testosterone you were exposed to in your mother's womb. The ratio of the length of your index finger to the length of your ring finger is set for life by as early as three months after conception. Even during puberty, when we experience intensive hormonal changes, the ratio stays the same.

Men generally have a ring finger that is longer than their index finger, which gives them a lower ratio than women, whose ring and index fingers are usually of equal length.

Studies have found that men and women with lots of brothers generally have more masculine finger ratios. Find out what other things scientists think our ratios may tell us.

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	Part 5

Faces

This task looked at how you rate the attractiveness of a series of faces. The images you looked at were digitally altered to create slight differences in masculinity.

Your choices suggest you prefer more feminine faces.

Highly masculinised male faces possess more extreme testosterone markers such as a long, broad and lower jaw, as well as more pronounced brow ridges and cheekbones.

Interestingly, women's preferences are said to vary across the menstrual phase. A more masculine face is preferred during the 9 days prior to ovulation, when conception is most likely.

A typical 'attractive' female face possesses features such as a shorter, narrower, lower jaw, fuller lips and larger eyes than an average face.

Are you surprised at what researchers think they can learn from your answers? Find out more.

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	Part 6

3D shapes

This task tested your ability to mentally rotate 3D shapes.

Your score: 11 out of 12
Average score for men: 8.2 out of 12
Average score for women: 7.1 out of 12

What does your result suggest?

If you scored 0 - 6: Do you find yourself having to physically rotate a map to point in the direction in which you're travelling? This might explain why you scored in the lower range in the 3D shapes test. Twice as many women as men score in this category. Previous studies suggest that those with a female-type brain or with an arts background fall into this range.

If you scored 7 - 9: In past studies, 50 per cent of the people who scored in this range were women and 50 per cent were men.

If you scored 10 - 12: Are you an engineer or do you have a science background? People with these skills tend to score in this range. Past studies have concluded that people in this range have a more male brain.

Nearly a third of men who took this test got full marks, whereas less than 10 per cent of women managed the same. Find out why.

Words

This task looked at your verbal fluency.

Your score: you associated 3 word(s) with grey and you named 7 word(s) that mean happy. We are assuming that all the words you entered are correct.

Average score for men: 11.4 words total
Average score for women: 12.4 words total

What does your result suggest?

If you produced 1 - 5 words: You are more of the strong, silent type with a male brain. You probably find it easier to express yourself in non-verbal ways, preferring action rather than words.

If you produced 6 - 10 words: Most people in this range have a female-type brain.

Women are said to use both sides of the brain when doing verbal tasks while men mainly use their left side. Studies have shown that girls develop vocabulary faster than boys. This difference in brain power is caused by levels of pre-natal testosterone. Find out more .

Ultimatum

This task asked you how you would divide money.

If you had to split £50 with someone, you said you would demand £25

So far on the Sex ID test, men have demanded 51.6% (£25.80) of the pot and women have demanded 51.0% (£25.50), on average.

What does your response suggest?

Sex differences are small in this task. Demanding less than 60% of the pot (ie £30) is more typically female. Demanding more than 65% of the pot (ie £32.50) is more typically male.

Scientists believe that people with lower testosterone levels tend to take fewer risks so they are probably more willing to keep less for themselves. Those with higher testosterone levels tend to drive a harder bargain and are less compromising.

Men's testosterone levels fluctuate over the seasons and are at their lowest levels during the springtime. This is said to influence their bargaining power. Find out more about the role of testosterone.

reliability measures for laptops

2009-01-26T22:45:00.001+08:00